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Old 10-09-2012, 07:01 PM
live2learn live2learn is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 3
Default How to discuss poly with a friend ....

My husband and I have been married for 12 years - dating since we were 16 years old. We are very communicative and have no relationship issues (minus minor stuff).

We have both fallen in love with a friend. I have never dated a girl, but kissed many for "fun". Once I became close with our best friend - I quit doing things for "fun" because I felt now I had found something "real".

Here is the dynamic:
she has been BEST friends with my husband for a few years, we started making out this year and have had one very intimate cuddle session (not sure what else to call it). We definitely have some crazy chemistry, but her and my husband have remained in this "friend zone" minus the one cuddle session.

My question is - how do I talk to her about this. I feel so nervous because I do not want anything to come in between what we already have (which I am not sure what that even is). I am new to the term poly, but when I think about what we are feeling - it seems very polyamorous; my husband and I truly loving another person. She is someone that we both think about ALL THE TIME and want to be around ALL THE TIME. It is not even a sexual thing; we love just holding her hand!

I know poly is all about communication and I know once we have the conversation, it will be easier. Can anyone give me guidance?

I think I fear her not feeling the same way, or her thinking we are crazy for wanting to bring someone in on our marriage. Anyone have any experience with talking to someone who is not "poly" for the first time?

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