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  #1  
Old 10-08-2012, 04:01 AM
LifeLikeWeeds LifeLikeWeeds is offline
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Default Hello :)

Feels kind of strange to be posting on a new forum again, but what the heck. Even though I'm not exactly sure how to introduce myself on a forum that isn't about my pets or my Jeep, haha.

Anyway, I guess the basics would be the best place to start off with. I'm most commonly known on the interwebs as Charlie, so that's fine to call me. I don't really use my real name unless I know someone well enough that I'm pretty sure they won't be crazy, lol.

I'm a 24 year old, married to a wonderful man, mostly straight female. I say mostly because for the most part girls scare the hell out of me. All of my friends (all two of them ) are guys, but I have had a few crushes on girls.

And I guess my husband and I have reached that point in our relationship where we're both mature enough to think about seeing/dating other people. We've been together since 17, and only ever been with each other, so I guess we're both curious as to what a relationship with someone else will be like. I'd like a triad sort of relationship with another guy, but he's mostly straight (mostly, haha) so I'm just really not sure where to go from here.

So I found this forum! Hello!
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  #2  
Old 10-08-2012, 05:24 AM
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Silhouette Silhouette is offline
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Welcome to the site. Glad that you and your husband are doing well, and taking this venture openly together.
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  #3  
Old 10-08-2012, 12:06 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Hello and Welcome to the forums.

People come to poly in many different ways so all of our "getting started" stories are different. You might enjoy reading the blogs and life stories section here to see all of our awkward beginnings .

Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeLikeWeeds View Post
I'm a 24 year old, married to a wonderful man, mostly straight female. I say mostly because for the most part girls scare the hell out of me. All of my friends (all two of them ) are guys, but I have had a few crushes on girls.
I can relate to this! I have always found it easier to maintain friendships with guys. The only two "serious" relationships I have ever had (the two I am in now) have been with guys. Although I identify as bisexual, I find that I shy away from women who are more experienced with other women than I am (I think I am afraid that they will think I'm "doing it wrong").

Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeLikeWeeds View Post
And I guess my husband and I have reached that point in our relationship where we're both mature enough to think about seeing/dating other people. We've been together since 17, and only ever been with each other, so I guess we're both curious as to what a relationship with someone else will be like. I'd like a triad sort of relationship with another guy, but he's mostly straight (mostly, haha) so I'm just really not sure where to go from here.

So I found this forum! Hello!
I'm glad you found us. The few word of advice that I have would be to 1.) be open to possibilities - you may find something you never thought you were looking for 2.) a relationship with someone else WILL be different from your current relationship - each relationship has a life of its own, don't make assumptions based on your current successful relationship - what works for one may not be what is needed in the other 3.) communicate with your husband - a LOT!

Welcome to the roller coaster.

JaneQ
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Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3 yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS; married to TT, poly male
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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  #4  
Old 10-08-2012, 12:13 PM
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Anek Anek is offline
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Hello and welcome!
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  #5  
Old 10-08-2012, 08:31 PM
Stevenjaguar Stevenjaguar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
Hello and Welcome to the forums.

Welcome to the roller coaster.
Second that!

You're about to embark on the scariest and potentially the most rewarding period of your life. Welcoming a third person into your relationship is a big step so be as picky as you would in choosing your primary partner. And with dating, it's going to be a selection process with all the pitfalls like lousy first dates, bad first time sex and breaking up. There's also the potential for making a solid relationship that will last a lifetime.

You will probably go through a time where you each will date another, separate person for a while and move slowly toward one person you both will love. It's good that you can consider sex with another woman as I think it usually works out better if each can have a sexual relationship with the other two.

Last edited by Stevenjaguar; 10-08-2012 at 08:36 PM.
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  #6  
Old 10-08-2012, 11:34 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stevenjaguar View Post
You will probably go through a time where you each will date another, separate person for a while and move slowly toward one person you both will love.
Perhaps. Perhaps not. There is no predictable pattern, nor is there ever likely to be one.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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  #7  
Old 10-14-2012, 12:02 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Hi Charlie,
Welcome to our forum.

I personally think it's best to be flexible, as people are all individual and different and unique. You never know what relationship geometry will work out for you, and the poly community has just about every kind of geometry imaginable. I guess what I'm saying is, it's okay to give yourself some leeway.

I hope your stay on Polyamory.com will be an enjoyable one.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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