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  #41  
Old 10-01-2012, 12:32 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Oh, honey - you need to leave. NOW.
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  #42  
Old 10-04-2012, 07:25 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by Invi View Post
thinker, I'm aware it's not a stable situation, but frankly it wouldn't matter if we were married because we are both very much opposed to the State being involved in private matters. Neither of us would ever push for child support or alimony, so it's a moot point. I'd be just as penniless if we had a marriage license.
In your situation, you would be eligible for child support, with or without a marriage. It's his kid too, why shouldn't he support his son?

"Neither of us would ever push for child support or alimony"... Well obviously he wouldn't, because you have no job or money. It's one thing to make such claims when you're being supported in a relationship... it's quite another thing to say so when your son is wondering why you never have any money, and you're forced to answer that it's because Mommy is too stubborn to make use a system designed to protect people in your situation.

It's all fine and dandy to say "I'm opposed to State involvement" ... but does that really outweigh your child's need for financial security?

As an individual, you have every right to stick to your principles. But the moment you gave birth, you gave up that right in exchange for the responsibility of caring for another human being.

It makes me think of people who are too proud to accept charity, so they let their kids sleep on cardboard and starve instead. I'm sorry, but I have zero tolerance for that kind of thing.

Make the bastard pay.
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  #43  
Old 10-05-2012, 12:57 AM
SkylerSquirrel SkylerSquirrel is offline
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As an individual, you have every right to stick to your principles. But the moment you gave birth, you gave up that right in exchange for the responsibility of caring for another human being.
So becoming a parent means you should no longer have principles?

I think what you are trying to suggest is that in this case one principle (making sure her child is well provided for) should trump another (not seeking state involvement). Not that she shouldn't stick to her principles in general.

I understand and can relate - I didn't want state involvement in my divorce either. But then ex-husband decided to be a douche and not follow our agreements. Meanwhile I'm barely scraping by. That's when I decided to sue for child support.
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Last edited by SkylerSquirrel; 10-05-2012 at 12:58 AM. Reason: left out a word
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  #44  
Old 10-05-2012, 01:06 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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It always seems that it's the people who don't want to do the right thing that "don't want the state involved". It makes being an asshole (or deadbeat) sound like such a noble thing.

Of course, that does not apply to anyone posting in this thread... yet.
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  #45  
Old 10-05-2012, 08:05 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SkylerSquirrel View Post
So becoming a parent means you should no longer have principles?

I think what you are trying to suggest is that in this case one principle (making sure her child is well provided for) should trump another (not seeking state involvement). Not that she shouldn't stick to her principles in general.
My Ethics philosophy is a little rusty, and "principles" may not be exactly the right word. Quick search leads me to believe "principles" basically means "moral code," in which case you're correct that caring for your child is a matter of principles. Perhaps "beliefs" would be more appropriate than "principles."

And you're right. Of course you need not give up all your beliefs when you have kids, only those that are in conflict your primary responsibility to provide a safe and healthy home environment for your child. That's precisely why we need state involvement: some people have messed up beliefs, like thinking that marrying your 13 year old daughter to a 57 year old man who claims to be the prophet of god is a good thing to do.
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  #46  
Old 10-07-2012, 12:57 AM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
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Invi hasn't posted here or responded to my PM in 7 days. :S

Makes me worry some.
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  #47  
Old 10-07-2012, 01:08 AM
Invi Invi is offline
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Originally Posted by KyleKat View Post
Invi hasn't posted here or responded to my PM in 7 days. :S

Makes me worry some.
Don't worry, I'm fine. I'm just kind of taking an internet break aside from my email and facebook.

We're talking more. Considering the both of us moving back to where my family lives. Maybe renting from my brother and him transferring his job to the closest location.
So, no worrying. If I'm not responding it's because I'm dealing with processing several things at once. my family is having some issues as well, so things are complicated.

Last edited by Invi; 10-07-2012 at 01:08 AM. Reason: phone typo fail
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