hi

[jones]

hi everyone, I have been seeing this guy for two months now.. we started just swinging but now I have feelings for him, I love him and he said tonight we are more than fb.. do I tell him I love him because I want to but I am so scared in losing him x

[GalaGirl]

Just tell him how you feel.

You don't have to be afraid of feelings you know. We just feel what we feel. Rain is rain. Sun if sun. Emotion is emotion. We don't choose when or how to feel the things we feel.

We just choose how to behave in response to those feelings. React or act with intention.

You can choose:

• Tell him. And then he can choose how he behaves in response to the news based on how he feels.
  

  a) he feels same and you both make a space to grow those feelings by spending more time together. You win relief, knowledge, and a new challenge.
  
  b) he does not feel the same and you can feel what you may feel next and make your next choice based on full information of what IS (which is way better than what iffing yourself to death! You win relief and knowledge! You stay friends, nothing changes. You drift apart? So what? We all choose who we want to stay in relationship with or not. You still win relief and knowledge.

• Do not tell him. (And you choose to deal with how THAT makes you feel by how you behave next.)

  
  a) Usually it feels annoying so that you want to pop with the news! And just tell! You win relief and knowledge! Move back up to a) and b) above because now you have told.
  
  b) Or it was a passing fancy and the initial NRE brain chemistry that was a fun crush but not a flier. You win the fun of a flight of fancy for a bit and the happy hormones that comes with it when you crush from afar and eventual relief then the brain stuff chills.

  
  Really, you win all 4 ways. Just pick your win.

GG

[jones]

Thanks for your reply hun.
I do keep hearing myself wanting to say 'i love you' but I fell in love before and he didn't feel the same way and it ruined us, he is going back to america in 7 months and I know this time with him is so special, I do feel that I can handle not telling him and just keeping these feelings to myself.

He said last night he doesn't see us as fb and he enjoys my company and I told him I liked him and he said it back, he does believe in loving more than one person and he has a gf who does know about me but she is in amercia.

I do know it is love with him, I felt this way before with my gf and my ex. I think in time I could bring myself to telling him and he may say it back but as long as I have him in my life then I am happy as I cry thinking about him leaving me

Originally Posted by GalaGirl

Just tell him how you feel.

You don't have to be afraid of feelings you know. We just feel what we feel. Rain is rain. Sun if sun. Emotion is emotion. We don't choose when or how to feel the things we feel.

We just choose how to behave in response to those feelings. React or act with intention.

You can choose:

• Tell him. And then he can choose how he behaves in response to the news based on how he feels.
  

  a) he feels same and you both make a space to grow those feelings by spending more time together. You win relief, knowledge, and a new challenge.
  
  b) he does not feel the same and you can feel what you may feel next and make your next choice based on full information of what IS (which is way better than what iffing yourself to death! You win relief and knowledge! You stay friends, nothing changes. You drift apart? So what? We all choose who we want to stay in relationship with or not. You still win relief and knowledge.

• Do not tell him. (And you choose to deal with how THAT makes you feel by how you behave next.)

  
  a) Usually it feels annoying so that you want to pop with the news! And just tell! You win relief and knowledge! Move back up to a) and b) above because now you have told.
  
  b) Or it was a passing fancy and the initial NRE brain chemistry that was a fun crush but not a flier. You win the fun of a flight of fancy for a bit and the happy hormones that comes with it when you crush from afar and eventual relief then the brain stuff chills.

  
  Really, you win all 4 ways. Just pick your win.

GG

[jones]

Originally Posted by jones

Thanks for your reply hun.
I do keep hearing myself wanting to say 'i love you' but I fell in love before and he didn't feel the same way and it ruined us, he is going back to america in 7 months and I know this time with him is so special, I do feel that I can handle not telling him and just keeping these feelings to myself.

He said last night he doesn't see us as fb and he enjoys my company and I told him I liked him and he said it back, he does believe in loving more than one person and he has a gf who does know about me but she is in amercia.

I do know it is love with him, I felt this way before with my gf and my ex. I think in time I could bring myself to telling him and he may say it back but as long as I have him in my life then I am happy as I cry thinking about him leaving me

hi,
I decided to tell a how I felt and he feels the same he wants to know more about the poly lifestyle etc, how he will fit into my life with my partner and I. I am pretty happy right now xxx

[GalaGirl]

Glad to hear you expressed yourself.

Also glad things went the way you secretly hoped.

Links for learning?

http://www.morethantwo.com/
http://www.serolynne.com/polyamory.htm
http://www.practicalpolyamory.com/do...documents.html
http://openingup.net/resources/free-...om-opening-up/

I hope you have fun exploring resources together!

GL!
GalaGirl

[jones]

Originally Posted by GalaGirl

Glad to hear you expressed yourself.

Also glad things went the way you secretly hoped.

Links for learning?

http://www.morethantwo.com/
http://www.serolynne.com/polyamory.htm
http://www.practicalpolyamory.com/do...documents.html
http://openingup.net/resources/free-...om-opening-up/

I hope you have fun exploring resources together!

GL!
GalaGirl

thank you so much, I am seeing a tomorrow so we have a look together xx