Mags: True dat! We are taking tonight/tomorrow to reconnect, and I am planning a weekend in late October for us to go away as well. We talked a bit more about scheduling last night, and I think that we're making progress.
She smelled so sweet, pinning me up against the side of her little silver car, my hands buried in her hair, mouth covering hers with kisses. Every inch of her so soft and intoxicating. Fuck, did I miss her. Our dinner together was rich and delicious, and the restaurant served me these crazy huge martinis that had me a little silly by the end of them. Her in the middle, my hand on one thigh, Elemental's on the other, I watched the sparkle grow in his eyes as he settled into her presence and allowed his attraction to grow. I love seeing the two of them together - the contrast of his olive skin, rugged and handsome features, well groomed facial hair and shaggy, short brown hair to her thick apricot blonde hair, porcelain skin and soft blue eyes. They make quite the picture. The waiter was obviously unsettled by me peppering her with kisses, and then coming back to Elemental and her locking lips; made us all grin, and to his credit, he didn't say a word. She brought me beautiful pink shell earrings from Mexico, and a bottle of beautiful vanilla extract for Elemental and her's baking schemes at our place. We ate and sipped and chatted, catching up on her relationship(s)'s status(es) and some of the drama that had transpired while she was away. It's this lovely combination of gossip, attraction, friendship and flirting with Lily, and I truly enjoy her bubbly and quirky company.
We said goodnight and slipped into our car and headed home in the dark of the night. We talked a lot about scheduling, and the reality of attempting to get solid chunks of time with our other partners while still having time together, maintaining our home, investing in friendships and family and having time to ourselves as well. An unrealistic ideal was set with having Sync out here so much when we were a closed triad, followed by these past few weekends of uninterrupted dyad time between Elemental and her.
So far, it looks like the ideals are:
Elemental: Wants to see Sync at least once a week. Happy with seeing Lily once/twice a month.
Willow: Wants to see me once a week. Likes the idea of group dates/hang outs. Is also seeing J. who has a very busy schedule.
Sync: Wants as much time with us as possible both as a triad and in dyads.
Lily: Ideal is seeing us twice a month, open to seeing shows and having dinner dates/spontaneous dates when it is plausible.
Me: Ideal is seeing Lily once/twice a month for sexy dates and one/two times a month for hangouts, Sync two/possibly three times a month for sexy dates and two times a month for hang outs, and same for Willow.
Willow is pretty accomodating - he has his own place, spare rooms and a hot tub, and would love to host evenings with all of us. He's probably the most interested in creating community and developing friendships with everyone besides me. He's offered to help E work on our vacation property, dog proofed his back yard in case we would like to bring our dogs over, and is willing to carpool with both Lily and Sync to come out to our neck of the woods for dinner/games/etc on the weeks that he doesn't have kids.
Elemental and I are going to set up both spare bedrooms so that we have space for more than one partner to sleep over. At present, we haven't done co-dyad dates, although I know that it's something that we're both open to.
Now that we have manifested all of these incredible partners, it's all about time management. I neither want to undervalue, or overvalue anyone, and it's becoming a bit tenuous. I also NEED time by myself, and start getting pretty fuckin' edgy if I don't get it. Solid time with Elemental at our house outside of any date-y kind of situations is needed as well - we have lots of responsibilities - cleaning, cooking, dogs, yard work, laundry, managing finances, etc - when that shit slides my whole life feels out of whack.
I don't know if I'm alone in this, but I don't totally enjoy the process of NRE. Yes, it's fun, but it's also a little delusional. I like to compare NRE and ERE to cotton candy/a nourishing meal. Cotton candy is sweet, fluffy and fun to eat, and has you whirling around on a sugar high - you can eat way too much without even realizing it and make yourself sick/spoil your dinner .... a nourishing meal sustains you, and feels your soul at the same time as your body - it takes time to make, and time to eat, and is more measured and solid.
Well, time to get ready for a lunch date with a friend, then home to do chores before going out for some banking appointments and errands. Having a huge party at my businesses tomorrow, full staff, expecting a few hundred people, it's going to be MAYHEM, so there will be lots of prep tonight. It's also a professional friend's birthday, so we're going to stop by the hockey game where he has reserved a big section for a bit.... sheesh, busy day!
Where you go... there you are.
Me: 35. TD, 43, my monogamous beau. Lily: 31, my lady/lover, in two other relationships. Mahogany: 38, my girlfriend, in one other relationship. Elemental: 44, my ex husband.
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