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Old 09-28-2012, 01:45 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Hello - a few points... I haven't read the entire thread yet but what strikes me is that you have chosen to join and post on a message board which is not only a site for discussion on polyamory, but also a haven for those of us who live it and practice it. Many of us have become friends here, with polyamory being how we connect with each other. Your introduction stated that you don't believe in polyamory and if it doesn't prove to align with your beliefs, you won't post much. Well, that came as a slap in the face when I read it. Then you fly off the handle when you are not welcomed in the warm way you think you deserve. Hmm. This would be like walking into a room of people who all belong to a club that gathers together on a shared and much-loved topic, and saying, "I don't believe in the thing that brings you all together and if I don't like what you're saying, I won't participate. But you should welcome my presence here!" Do you see how illogical and somewhat offensive that is?

Had you read much of this board before posting your introduction, you would also have seen that sex and sexual relationships are freely discussed here. When people come here and post about their non-monogamous situations, it is only helpful when members have more details - nothing that reveals your identity, but knowing whether or not you and your co-wives are sexual with each other paints a better picture for us if you ever ask for advice. No one really cares either way what you have going on in your life, it is simply to make better-informed responses.

I do think, now that I just took a little more time to read through some more of your posts, you may not have a very accurate picture in your mind about what polyamory is, at least for those of us who embrace it. Commitment, marriage, handfasting, some might call it semantics because many polyfolk are just as committed as spouses are, even if -- like you -- they cannot be legally so. So, the term polyamory can actually be seen as an umbrella term that covers polygamy/polygyny/polyandry, ie., how you yourself live. If you indeed do wish to learn more about polyamory, I think it would be good for you to read some more threads, the glossary, our Golden Nuggets section, etc., and post questions, if you have any, in the appropriate forum. I do appreciate your desire to learn more, but discussions here will be challenging for you if you tend to want to lecture us about or assert that what we're doing and how we're living, just because we call it polyamory, is somehow "less noble" than what you are doing and how you choose to live.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 09-28-2012 at 02:23 AM.

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