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  #11  
Old 09-27-2012, 10:09 AM
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PolygamousWU PolygamousWU is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Papillon View Post
Of course you don't - none of us do - but what will happen on this forum is that people will ask you probing questions in order to get a better understanding of your situation. Everyone tends to get a lot of questions when they first show up here!
I don't mind questions at all, but do mind what I feel are inappropriate introductory questions...ie, per BoringGuy:

"Are any of the wives bisexual? If so, are any of the wives involved with each other? How many children are there between all the wives?"

It's called "NUNYA (none of your business).

Then I get "attacked" for my honest reply? I just don't understand the mindset of some people. Had BoringGuy simply asked if I was here with or without my Husband's blessing, I would have happily answered that. However, without what I consider a proper "hello" or "welcome", no one is going to get any info out of me, no matter how benign it might be.

Thanks for your input, I appreciate it.
  #12  
Old 09-27-2012, 10:11 AM
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Emm Emm is offline
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Enjoy your stay, although if you're here only to talk to yourself I think you're wasting your time. (And yes, I realise I'm supposed to be beside myself with grief after being blocked for being so hideously offensive, but I'm afraid I can't muster the energy to care.)
  #13  
Old 09-27-2012, 10:15 AM
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PolygamousWU PolygamousWU is offline
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Default Won't give you the satisfaction

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Originally Posted by Emm View Post
Enjoy your stay, although if you're here only to talk to yourself I think you're wasting your time. (And yes, I realise I'm supposed to be beside myself with grief after being blocked for being so hideously offensive, but I'm afraid I can't muster the energy to care.)
Some people are just plain miserable and you seem to be one of them...misery loves company. I just choose not be be part of your company. What ever happened to nice, people? I hope I get more replies here and I will continue to read the threads. It will be interesting to see how the majority of people interact with one another here.
  #14  
Old 09-27-2012, 10:21 AM
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Emm Emm is offline
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Again, colour me appropriately heartbroken that an internet stranger dislikes me.
  #15  
Old 09-27-2012, 11:37 AM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
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Let's start over...

Welcome, PolygamousWU, to the polyamory.com forums. I've been here for a while, and while I don't post regularly I do have a vague understanding of how these forums work. I'm going to try to shed some light on the inner workings for you.

First and foremost, in order for us to better understand your role in your relationship and help you understand polyamory, we need to know something about you. We don't know you, where you live, or any personal or identifying information. That's part of the charm of this forum. You can post anonymously. Part of that anonymity also means that you're going to be asked questions you wouldn't necessarily be asked in a real life situation. Forgive my crudeness in this next sentence, I'm trying to make a point. None of us are that brazen to just come out and say, "So, do you like giving blowjobs?" in real life. My point here is that this isn't behavior indicative of polyamory. This is something you see in an anonymous setting, especially a forum.

Second, you've entered into this site with a very strong apprehension. Here's a quote to show you what I'm talking about.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PolygamousWU
I do not believe in polyamory (maybe I have the wrong defiinition), so maybe this site will educate me on polyamory vs. polygamy. Though if it is not in line with our beliefs, I probably won't post much, if at all.
Polyamory means "many loves". Polygamy means "often married" or "many marriages". The difference here is that polyamory is not necessarily tied to marriages. I think the term you are looking for is polygyny, which refers to a scenario where a man married many women. The women are often monogamous in this scenario. The other side to that coin is polyandry, or a woman marrying many men. The men are often monogamous in this scenario. To recap:

Polyamory: Many loves (not necessarily marriage)
Polygamy: Many marriages (so, a form of polyamory)
Polygyny: Many wives (a form of polyamory AND polygamy)
Polyandry: Many husbands (a form of polyamory AND polygamy)

So, in essence, your husband is polyamorous. You very well may not be. That's fine! Not everyone is, and we understand that. As far as polyamorists go, we don't care what prefix is attached. Polyamory, polygamy, polygyny, and polyandry. It's all 'poly'!

Now that that's all out of the way, do me a favor. Tell us what you ARE willing to share. If you don't, how could we possibly get to know you better? BoringGuy didn't know you were going to receive his questions poorly. He doesn't know the first thing about you. He was just trying to get some information on the situation.

Some questions I think are fair. You're welcome to disagree.

Your family practices polygyny. What are your feelings towards polyandry? Do you think it's something you would be interested in if your husband were not around (say if you had never met him)?

You reacted strongly to the question of whether or not you are bisexual. How do you feel about bisexuality or homosexuality? Are you opposed to non-heterosexual relations? Saying you are pro-bi or pro-homo doesn't inherently mean that YOU are bi. All it does is tell us if you think humans should be heterosexual or not or be whatever they want to be! I will mention that a great many polyamorous people are bisexual, so if you don't agree with that lifestyle choice, please be delicate.

You posted about your children and said how wonderful they are, but when you were asked how many you had, you got defensive. You also indicated that they subservant to you and you to your husband. You also mentioned that you are not religious, but you called your husband the Highest Power (and capitalized both the word husband and the phrase highest power). This indicates that you do have a faith in him, that you treat him as your God. That is a religious relationship. It may not be a Christian or Mormon relationship, but it's still a faith-based relationship. You believe in his ability to make rational decisions, provide for your family, and tend to your needs as you tend to his. So, why the need to point out that it wasn't religious? Is there a bad history with religion?

There are quite a few more questions that I will gladly ask, if you're willing to answer, but I don't want to waste my time if you're not up for sharing. I want to be clear, I'm not pushing you to answer any of the questions I've asked. If you are willing, great. If not, that's fine. It's going to be very difficult for us to help you in your journey unless we are allowed to ask you questions, but the choice is ultimately yours to make.

Sincerely,
Kyle
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Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old
  #16  
Old 09-27-2012, 02:31 PM
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PolygamousWU PolygamousWU is offline
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Default Thank you Kyle

Hello Kyle,

Thank you for some intellegent questions and conversation starters.

My Husband has "legally" married all three wives, meaning each wife has a paper marriage with our Husband. (Yes, we know this is not "legal", neither is polygamy/polygny itself) and we all know there are still laws on the books which prohibit homosexual behaviour. We are poly-fi and NOT polyamorous.

As I said, I am a live and let live type of person....as long as there is no force/coercion or harm (physical/mental abuse), polyandry is fine by me...just not my cup of tea.

My "strong" reaction to the question of being bisexual was not over whether or not I am bisexual, but that a person here would ask such a question in such a crude way...like your blow job example, and without first welcoming me to the board or making some sort of introduction. I am more than willing to share if others want to share also. I'm not here to feed some pervert jerk-off material. Not knowing ANYTHING about BoringGuy, he most certainly came off as a pervert to me. "Live and let live"...our entire family is very pro GLBT and we have no issue with who knows that. Our personal sex lives are just that, personal, at this point, until there is trust gained or I find a thread I wish to discuss our sex lives on.

Yes, I would be defensive about my children when a person first asks if the wives in our marriage are bi and then asks ANY question about our children (my first thoughts are "pervert").
We have 11 children.

Definition of RELIGIOUS
1: relating to or manifesting faithful devotion to an acknowledged ultimate reality or deity <a religious person> <religious attitudes> (NOT US)
2: of, relating to, or devoted to religious beliefs or observances <joined a religious order> (NOT US)
3a : scrupulously and conscientiously faithful (to our Husband and our family, NOT a god, religion or other organized sect, cult, etc.) (US)

Our life journy(ies) tend to be spritual and NOT religious. We strongly oppose organized religion and religious dogma due to the destructiveness it causes in people's lives. The wives chose to capitalize the word Husband as he is our head of household (not to be confused with the terminlogy HoH and it's practices, as we also see those as religious and destructive). We simply respect our Husband and it is out of that respect that we decided to capitalize the word Husband in reference (and deference) to Him.

Thank you again Kyle for bringing back some normalacy to a conversation and not just blurting out questions with some implied expectation of an answer. It is very nice to meet you and I would be happy to talk to you anytime.

Last edited by PolygamousWU; 09-27-2012 at 02:35 PM.
  #17  
Old 09-27-2012, 03:44 PM
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Hey, welcome.

I would like to ask a question on something not poly related. Your profile picture. I am extremely cautious in regard to those ... I will go with calling it a group or organisation for now, as I don't yet know how you relate to it and how you are involved. Why did you choose this slogan to be representative of you in this surrounding/ on this forum and what do you see in "white pride, world wide"? I am feeling a bit unnerved by it, kind of.
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  #18  
Old 09-27-2012, 04:21 PM
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PolygamousWU PolygamousWU is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phy View Post
Hey, welcome.

I would like to ask a question on something not poly related. Your profile picture. I am extremely cautious in regard to those ... I will go with calling it a group or organisation for now, as I don't yet know how you relate to it and how you are involved. Why did you choose this slogan to be representative of you in this surrounding/ on this forum and what do you see in "white pride, world wide"? I am feeling a bit unnerved by it, kind of.
Hello and thank you for the welcome.

The avatar used is a representation of part of our core belief system, our pride in our heritage. We do not believe in joining organizations as we feel they simply lead the lambs to slaughter. We are free and forward thinkers, embracing all people's rights to their beliefs and promoting each individual's personal growth. We abhor "groups" that have an agenda that they wish to push on others. It is not meant to unnerve you or anyone else. I imagine the rainbow colored avatars might unnerve some, also, kind of. Other avatars which may seem "dark", might also unnerve some. People's choice of handles/ID's might also be unnerving to some, but I respect their freedom of choice and expression. I have yet to see any avatar or picture here which represents anything but one's personal expression of self. The only thing which has unnerved me (sort of) is the awesome welcome I first got when I posted my intro.

Hope this helps.
  #19  
Old 09-27-2012, 04:35 PM
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Thanks for your answer. Maybe it's history related (*waves* a German is talking here ), but the only way I heard of this 'believe system' (WPWW) things came across very ... racialistic and supermacist-like. That's the cause for my uneasiness here. But it's a whole nother story if you just see some need to talk about your heritage while you can still state:

Quote:
Originally Posted by PolygamousWU View Post
We are free and forward thinkers, embracing all people's rights to their beliefs and promoting each individual's personal growth.
That was all I was concerned about. Thanks
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  #20  
Old 09-27-2012, 05:11 PM
Papillon Papillon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PolygamousWU View Post
We are poly-fi and NOT polyamorous.
I'm genuinely curious here - what does 'polyamorous' mean to you? Because (as others have already said) by most people's definition, polygamy is a type of polyamory, which would mean you ARE currently in a polyamorous relationship...

I'm not trying to tell you what to call your relationship - I'm firmly of the belief that we shouldn't label others - but I just wondered why you're so strongly anti-polyamory.

Everyone's poly is different - there are as many ways to be polyamorous as there are poly people!
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