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  #101  
Old 09-23-2012, 10:01 PM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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lol. Another guy today messaged me to tell me he wants to be my next lover. I'm not even listed as available on OK Cupid.
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  #102  
Old 09-23-2012, 10:42 PM
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So, I had temporarily closed my OKC account early in the year. I'd reinstated it once just to login and get someone's email address that I only had in my messages. During that week they require before you close it again, I received a few messages but never looked at them. I only discovered them the other day when I reinstated my OKC account to start looking again. So, I noticed a message from a few months ago that I had missed before. The guy had sent a very lovely message, so I took a shot and messaged him all these months later - and he wrote back! I dig his vibe, except for one thing: he mentioned sex in his message.

I usually bristle when guys do that. I feel like, okay, we're here for dating and relationships, of course sex is part of that, why mention it? Is that all you're after? Now, he wasn't creepy, and was just responding to something I had stated in my profile, which prompted him to bring up the subject of sex. But still, I don't feel that is proper.

So, I'm taking a poll - when you contact people on OKC, do you mind discussing sex early on in an email exchange? Or do you welcome it or even bring it up yourself?
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  #103  
Old 09-23-2012, 10:54 PM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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Honestly, if it's in your profile, than it's fair game. At least in my opinion.
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  #104  
Old 09-23-2012, 11:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrigidsDaughter View Post
Honestly, if it's in your profile, than it's fair game. At least in my opinion.
The only things I mention about sex in my profile is where I say I want a casual relationship but I explain that that isn't the same as casual sex, which I am not looking for, and somewhere else I say I'm not interested in anyone who identifies as strongly into BDSM (I was getting messages from guys who wanted to know if I would let them Dom me. Ugh). The kink is the part he responded to.

Hmm, should I take that stuff out?
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  #105  
Old 09-24-2012, 05:50 AM
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It would probably depend what the context was honestly. I don't mind openly discussing sex as long as I don't feel like I'm being pressured for it.
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  #106  
Old 09-25-2012, 06:29 PM
lanniesgirl lanniesgirl is offline
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Angry wow!

oh my goodness! this whole place is so confussing..a friend recently told me to look this site up and said it was something i might be interested in! after looking around a bit i made a profile here...then i find that people here are as judgemental and cruel as they are here in small town oklahoma!! so much for expanding my horizons and being happy about who i am!!! i sent out friend requests just to get to know different types of people,mainly because im a good person who doesnt judge! i send out,"i would like to be your friend." i get back.."Why?" and ..."You dont even know me." gees people lighten up..was only extending a hand shake!!!
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  #107  
Old 09-25-2012, 08:06 PM
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This is a thread about OkCupid.
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  #108  
Old 09-26-2012, 02:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
The only things I mention about sex in my profile is where I say I want a casual relationship but I explain that that isn't the same as casual sex, which I am not looking for, and somewhere else I say I'm not interested in anyone who identifies as strongly into BDSM (I was getting messages from guys who wanted to know if I would let them Dom me. Ugh). The kink is the part he responded to.

Hmm, should I take that stuff out?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicalRose View Post
It would probably depend what the context was honestly. I don't mind openly discussing sex as long as I don't feel like I'm being pressured for it.
Yeah, I think it depends HOW he brought in the subject of it. If it was related to what you say in your profile, I'd just say take it out of your profile to make sure others don't do the same.

I think as long as he wasn't pushing the idea, and was only interested in an open conversation, it seems harmless. By not replying to that part of the message, or outright stating that you aren't comfortable talking about it just yet would be enough. If he still pushed on sex in the next reply, then I would take that as a sign, and leave him to it. =]
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  #109  
Old 09-26-2012, 11:44 PM
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Gosh, Cindie, if you mentioned sex in your profile, and so he did, as long as he wasn't creepy about it and just wanted to discuss what your definition of casual sex was, I don't see a thing wrong with it.

I'm so sex positive though. It's one of my favorite things to talk about (if I'm not actually doing it)!

I know you're feeling extra tender and confused about relationships right now... maybe that's why if a guy just responded to something in your profile, you're slightly offended.
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  #110  
Old 10-02-2012, 05:11 PM
Petunia Petunia is offline
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This one was fun! Not too practical, but he gets a lot of points for effort and creativity.
So here's the deal. Your scores are higher than anyone I've encountered on this site. And we both answered a bunch of questions so it wasn't just a freak thing. I have seen a 99% match before but never with the other scores. Honestly, I don't know what this all means. I don't agree with myself 99% of the time, I am not always my own best friend and most people score higher than 10% enemy with me just after they say, "how do you do?" And I don't know about you, but I don't think of myself as mainstream. I'm not a vampire or Alice Cooper or someone from Dada but I don't always play well with the other kids. I get along. I'm just never gonna win Miss Congeniality.
And reading about you also left me a bit puzzled. I went horseback riding one time and it scared the bejeezus out of me. There was no brake pedal. The thing smelled like a horse and there was no GPS. Motorcycles scare me. I don't mean riding on one. I mean I assume the fetal position when I see one cruising down the street. I'm not afraid of everything but whenever they ask for volunteers, I take one step back.
And you think I'm too old. It's true. I creep around like Grandpa Simpson. I snort and harrumph. I sigh a lot. My forehead looks like a road map. Whenever I have sex, we have to be sure not only that the paddles are right beside the bed, but they have to be fired up and ready...just in case. I can still perambulate, but no one would describe the effect as pretty.
And I'm not exactly sure where Wisconsin is. I know it's in the empire to the south and I know that in Green Bay, men take off their shirts during football games when snow is on the ground so it must be fairly north. And something about beer and cheese.
I'm married. You have a fiancee. I wouldn't want to come between two people who horseback ride on each other's backs across fields but I am more than intrigued. What else? I'm kinda of a tootsie roll pop--hard crunchy candy on the outside, soft chewy candy on the inside but sometimes even the inside candy gets pretty crunchy.
Before you dismiss me as someone who answered 300 odd questions just to hit on you, why don't you talk to me a little. I am pee your pants funny. Everybody says so and I'm pretty good at putting words together although reading this over, I conclude you're going to have to trust me on that one. I am not about to come to [my city] and I assume you don't journey to Toronto with any regularity. I'm kind of hoping you'll give this a little exploration but if chatting with some old coot across an international border is too odd for you, then good luck with the fiancee and the apples and the piggy back riding across fields. In the pictures, you look very happy together.
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