Not a choice
I am not new to the poly world per say. I have been with my husband for nine years, married for five, and my boyfriend/life partner has lived with us for 1.5 years. What I mean by not a choice is that my husband and I never thought of adding another partner to our lives it happened naturally with open consent and honesty. I never knew this world, or even dreamed of it but I am the luckiest girl alive who is in love with two men, who love each other (platonically), and me as well. Not saying that the transition was easy with initial jealousy, but we all respect each other enough to care what the others are feeling. My issue right now is family. My partner and I are taking the next step and getting hand-fasted next September. Most of my siblings know about him and either A.) Don't say anything about it or B) lectured at first but then love me enough to accept him.
Here is the thing though.... my parents. They are judgmental and I have no idea how they are going to react. I have a pretty healthy relationship with them, but now feel like I am lying about who I am when I am around them. Even more I feel like I am hiding someone I love so much, and I feel that is so unfair to him. Also, if my parents find out then my husband's will as well. They are also very Christian and again judgmental. They already dislike me for my spiritual choices in life, and feel this would make them downright hate me. Does anyone have experience with Christian/mid-western upbringings and how their family reacted to their other partners? How am I supposed to broach this? And if we are bounded and have the ceremony what happens if I don't say anything, and my family find out later & hates that I excluded them from something so important in my life? I just don't know what to think or how to act.