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  #11  
Old 09-20-2012, 02:26 PM
amry25 amry25 is offline
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The name of this site is Polyamory.com. Not Polygamy.com. They are 2 different terms. Look it up.
Ahhh okay, now I see our mistake with the symbolism. That was much more constructive, thank you! We seriously looked at the URL like 10 time and didn't see. It was not our intent to exclude some of the participants in the community, sorry.

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The single woman who wants to be in relationship with an established couple is so rare as to be likened to a mythical beast.
I understand that what we seek is probably one of the closest subsets of Polyamory to monogamy. Our primary concern is with maintaining a single family unit and someone we can have children with. It is difficult for us to imagine this structure with outside of a single female. Despite this, I am positive such situations (non-mww) have existed and flourished and you have encouraged me to search for others' experience in this area.

Also we are aliens and attract mythical creatures with sufficient focus so the rarity of them is not particularly disconcerting .
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  #12  
Old 09-20-2012, 02:48 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Strictly speaking, polygamy means a man being married to more than one woman. Since that is illegal in the USA, and you want to breed with your unicorn, have you considered how to legally and financially protect your hypothetical baby mama?
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  #13  
Old 09-20-2012, 04:16 PM
amry25 amry25 is offline
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I don't understand how legal and financial security pertains solely to mff relationships when there are no automatic legal or financial rights given to any non mf relationships (outside or recent fluctuation in the mm ff department). Are you against all polyamourous relationships due to this issues? Hows does mff differ?

There a certainly legal steps that can be taken to grant an individual similar rights as a married partner ie power of attorney, wills, and domestic living agreements. Financial arrangement's can be taken as well.

I get the feeling you think such a situation does not permit equality amongst the participants. Your words portray a second wife as someone who is being used or getting the short end of the stick. Where do these perceptions come from? Do you have or know someone with experience in a relationship like this?

We do not seek to harm or undervalue anyone. We want to find a partner with which we can grow as beings and better each other. We are not seeking a utilitarian or religious union. We are seeking a loving relationship.
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  #14  
Old 09-21-2012, 03:00 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by amry25 View Post
I don't understand how legal and financial security pertains solely to mff relationships when there are no automatic legal or financial rights given to any non mf relationships (outside or recent fluctuation in the mm ff department).
Right. And gay couples suffer a lot of hassles when it come to issues around raising kids. Or custody after a split. Or other legal rights like hospital visits or inheritances, etc etc.


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Are you against all polyamourous relationships due to this issues? Hows does mff differ?
No. I am poly, and have a gf of 3 years and a bf of 9 months. We are not breeding. Ginger and I have grown kids already (him, with his current wife and me with my ex), and miss pixi, while younger, is infertile.

MFF relationships when kids are involved can be complicated in many ways. I feel you're jumping the gun even thinking about having kids with a new partner when you've got 2 little ones already. Leaving kids out of the equation, there are many issues when one is new to poly, NRE, jealousy, time sharing, sex, dates, money, privacy, respect, how much each dyad in the triad cares for, gets along with, or is sexually attracted to the other 2 members. There are dozens of thread here pertaining to triads and unicorns and NRE. Do a tag search and read, read, read.

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I get the feeling you think such a situation does not permit equality amongst the participants. Your words portray a second wife as someone who is being used or getting the short end of the stick. Where do these perceptions come from? Do you have or know someone with experience in a relationship like this?
Yes. I've experienced it, have friends that have, plus many here on the board have. Not even a 2nd wife (again, that's illegal), just a gf brought into an established couple. Complicated enough.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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