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  #21  
Old 09-18-2012, 02:47 PM
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MusicalRose MusicalRose is offline
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I don't think it is really transphobic. He didn't seem to be discriminating, it just wasn't in his taste. I prefer androgynous people, but that doesn't make me cisphobic.
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  #22  
Old 09-18-2012, 02:50 PM
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"Very much womanly." What does that even mean? An extremely femme girly girl? That defines my gf.

Or does he just mean, "Has a pussy?" Would he date a femme post op transwoman or would he puke and beat her up if he found out she was trans after he'd fucked her?

sigh...
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  #23  
Old 09-18-2012, 04:49 PM
InspirationFlow InspirationFlow is offline
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The only time I use labels is in the early learning phases or explaining something. Otherwise, I have a physical aversion to labels. Once I learn that other people have put a name to some aspect of my Being, I leave it at that and just Be me. That's applicable to everything, sexuality, spirituality, my hobbies, interests, etc. If I feel that something resonates, I just go with it and not wonder what sociological construct this puts me in.

Now in terms of this discussion, I'm an authentiholic, I'm addicted to being authentic & to authentic people, everything else is open for discussion. Up to this point, I've been with mostly women and curious about guys, yet never felt physically attracted to any guys. I'm not ruling it out, though, so long as there's an authentic connection between us...so I *guess* that makes me a hetero-leaning queer??

I don't know, I just Be and ignore other people that want to pigeon-hole my activities/interests.
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  #24  
Old 09-18-2012, 05:14 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Reading this thread has made me sit and think. Doing so I think I may align more towards pansexual than bisexual. While I am attracted to both genders I also realize that I am attracted to levels of adrogeny which is most widely visible in being attracted to drag kings and queens both in and out of drag.
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  #25  
Old 09-18-2012, 05:39 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Would he date a femme post op transwoman or would he puke and beat her up if he found out she was trans after he'd fucked her?
Seeing as how this person also said he liked his men very manly, I'm gonna go with no, he probably wouldn't puke and beat her up. I understand this is a sensitive things for you, Magdlyn, since your gf probably has to deal with a lot of negative reactions, including those that would threaten her safety, but in this instance I think you're overreacting just a tad.

We like what we like. I can say that I DON'T like large, very-muscular men. That doesn't make me phobic, I'm just not attracted to people with that body type. We're all allowed to have preferences. Knowing our usual likes and dislikes doesn't make us evil.
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  #26  
Old 09-18-2012, 08:36 PM
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At the end of the article, the author mentions the "-curious" suffix as a label. I think that phrase could be the subject of a whole 'nother article! One thing that always kind of bugged me is the assumption that if one feels or says they are "bi-curious," that means they have to "try it out" in order to make a decision whether they are straight or bisexual. I always wondered why people who think this way about "bi-curious" folk don't see such experimentation as potentially very selfish, as if others are just there to serve as toys on someone's fact-finding mission. If I were to admit to having a curiosity about what sex would be like with another woman, then people would tend to assume that I am looking to experience that - yet I am not - and some would even try to orchestrate some kind of hook-up.

I think one can be curious about a great many things, without the need for experimentation. Curious just means, well... curious. I am curious about what it feels like to sleep while suspended off the side of a sheer cliff, but I ain't going to carry a sleeping bag up the side of a mountain anytime soon. Why can't "curious" just be interpreted as "interested in learning more?" While I am happily straight, I feel it is only natural to feel curious about same sex relationships - but my curiosity doesn't automatically mean that the only way it can be satisfied is through sex. I could learn a lot by befriending and socializing with bisexual people, watching movies, or reading books and forums like this, as examples, and in these ways I could easily find my thirst for knowing more about it quenched.
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Last edited by nycindie; 09-19-2012 at 06:36 AM.
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  #27  
Old 09-18-2012, 09:21 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InspirationFlow View Post

Now in terms of this discussion, I'm an authentiholic, I'm addicted to being authentic & to authentic people, everything else is open for discussion.
I REALLY REALLY love this!
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  #28  
Old 09-18-2012, 10:24 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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I use queer, pansexual and bisexual in no particular order to describe myself to others. Not because they are interchangeable - they're not - but because they are all true in describing a part of me. Those words get the information across that I'm not straight, nor totally 'gay' either, and that gender is a broad and varied thing. And that is what I want labels to do - give a piece of information about me to someone else.
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  #29  
Old 09-18-2012, 11:03 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
"Very much womanly." What does that even mean? An extremely femme girly girl? That defines my gf.

Or does he just mean, "Has a pussy?" Would he date a femme post op transwoman or would he puke and beat her up if he found out she was trans after he'd fucked her?

sigh...
"Has a pussy" is certainly one criteria that some people might use in their personal definition of "girlie girl". Dude finds quite a wide variety of women sexually appealing (many, many more than I do - like practically all of them). He used to include "women who were BORN women" as one of his only criteria. I then asked him about people with "testicular feminization syndrome" (or "androgen insensitivity syndrome") - people with an XY genotype who are phenotypically female...showed him pictures and got him all turned around.

Having said this...I don't see him beating anyone up. I do think that being a post-op transwoman might be something important that someone might want to disclose about themselves before things got to the "fucking" stage (kinda like being poly) if you plan on trying for any long-term relationship type thing, especially as that is the sort of thing that might be "discovered" during said "fucking" (a little anal play and..."oh, hey, there's a prostate in here").

Full Disclosure - I have only met one post-op transwoman in real life, "femme" does NOT describe her - although her boobs are way better than mine, pussy is not so convincing but, even before you get that far, her jawline and hands are NOT effeminate. She wasn't a pretty man before...you can only work with what you have. We knew a cross-dresser in college who was way more convincing - caught MrS by surprise every time.

Not saying that I rule out the possibility on philosophical grounds...but we can't help who we are or are not attracted to - if we are talking about who we have historically found ourselves attracted to then we are limited by our personal histories.

JaneQ
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  #30  
Old 09-18-2012, 11:23 PM
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Mya Mya is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
I use queer, pansexual and bisexual in no particular order to describe myself to others. Not because they are interchangeable - they're not - but because they are all true in describing a part of me. Those words get the information across that I'm not straight, nor totally 'gay' either, and that gender is a broad and varied thing. And that is what I want labels to do - give a piece of information about me to someone else.
This is exactly what I do and think as well. I mostly use bisexual though just because it's the most familiar word of the ones that I could use and I don't always feel like explaining myself that much. Pansexual would probably be more accurate since I like certain types of people without caring much about their gender. I've sometimes jokingly described myself as a femininesexual. I usually like my people somewhat feminine, whether they are men, women, trans or something else.
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