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Old 09-18-2012, 09:46 AM
Violet1 Violet1 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 10
Default How do I tell my bf's girlfriend that I don't like her "that way"?

I will be using astrological signs in place of names because these people really fit their signs, including me. (Gemini=me)

So my boyfriend (Libra) has a casual friends with benefits type relationship with this girl (Cancer). When they first were getting to know each other, he told her that he and his girlfriend were looking for another girl to have fun with both of us. So in the beginning we did all three have sex together a few times. Overall, I have not been super impressed with the sex and while I think she is a generally nice person, I do not really click with her and do not wish to have a relationship with her besides just metamours that are friendly to and tolerate each other. Maybe in the future my feelings towards her will change or evolve. But right now, I am actually crushing hard on my best girl friend (Scorpio) and I am channelling my focus towards her, which is the main reason I am not interesting in putting much effort towards being all buddy buddy or flirty with Cancer.

Libra and Cancer have since been seeing each other without me, which is fine with me...and I haven't straight out told her I don't like her, of course out of courtesy and good sense. But she texted me recently detailing a graphic sex dream she had about all three of us and talked to him on the phone tonight saying she misses us and wants to see my "beautiful face" --her words. Well he told her what bar he was playing at this Friday night (he's in a band) and she said she might come out and see us, she knows I go to most of his shows. He said if she found a way there he would be willing to give her a ride home afterwards.

So I had already asked my friend Scorpio to come to a reading with me that night near that bar and had planned on taking her there afterwards to hang out, and then he would give us a ride home at the end of the night, since we would have taken the train or bus to the area in the beginning of the night. So this Friday night has the potential of being very awkward. Should I tell Cancer before that night that I am going to be there with another date? Should I just not go and avoid the situation? That would be fine I guess, since I see him play all the time so there'll be other times, but he was suppoed to give us a ride out of downtown, so we'd have to make other arrangements if we didn't go to this gig..

But the whole thing is kind of stressing me out because I feel like there's this expectation that there's supposed to be some relationship developing between Cancer and I. Should I just say to her, you should bring someone else and don't expect to come home with us? Because even if she does get a sober ride from Libra (with me and Scorpio along in the car...) it still won't be a Libra+Cancer+Gemini threesome night, which I don't know if that's what she's expecting anyhow. How do I tell Cancer that she can date my boyfriend but I'm not interested in being a part of it? I don't want to hurt her feelings, because in the beginning I was excited about Libra finding a girl to introduce me to, but in getting to know her I find her immature, annoying, and whiny, and just someone whom I can't have a deep intellectual discussion with, which is how I become attracted to people. Just text her that I will be nothing more than friends with her? Seems unnecessarily blunt, especially since she's going to wonder why. So pretty much I can't just say, well I was into you until I got to know you, so leave me and my date alone at the bar on Friday... Lol @ awkward poly problems...
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