Rejecting the label

[GalaGirl]

You are astute.

I chose silent diplomacy there.

My in laws passionately go all over on the scifi thing. I hear it a lot, and I'm full at the moment.

GG

[Hannahfluke]

Originally Posted by BrigidsDaughter

Even as economically disadvantaged as we were, living together would not be an option. First because Pretty Lady would never leave her family property to get foreclosed on and secondly because they would never consider moving their son out of his school district and into ours. He is a junior in high school and the head of his JROTC drill team. Finally, Pretty Lady would never allow any sexual activity in the house as long and the children were home (as she has not for the entire 16 years they've been married) and I can't live like that.

A total side track of the thread, but I can't help but ask. She doesn't allow sexual activity in the home while the children are there? Even between her and Wendigo, her husband? Wow. Granted, when my kids were little, sex usually happened while they were asleep, but I can't imagine only having sex when they weren't home. That would have totally killed our sex life.

[dingedheart]

Originally Posted by Hannahfluke

I can't imagine only having sex when they weren't home. That would have totally killed our sex life.

Maybe that's why he / they embraced poly

[MeeraReed]

As others have pointed out, this article seems poorly argued and makes very little sense.

Where is this poly community dominated by straight people? Where are these Poly Patriarchs the writer thinks are so common?

I did enjoy the line about people who claim the poly orientation but are in fact oriented to be assholes. That exactly describes my college boyfriend. (In fact, because of the trauma I experienced with him, it took me years to recognize and embrace my desire for non-traditional relationships).

But I certainly don't think polyamory is any more of a haven for abusers than monogamy is.

[CielDuMatin]

Originally Posted by MeeraReed

I did enjoy the line about people who claim the poly orientation but are in fact oriented to be assholes.

Yeah, I know a few of those.

Most are just using the poly name to try to put some fancy wrapper around cheating or other highly suspect behaviour.

[Marcus]

Originally Posted by Boldly Go

It’s a privilege that many people have been denied

Yes, there are many privileges that are denied many people:

• Cars
• Abundant Personal Time
• Entertainment Electronics
• Multiple Lovers
• Encouraging Families
• Supportive Communities
• Gainful Employment

What's the point? I'm not sure I understand what the author is saying outside of the fact that they're resentful of their employment situation.

So, cry about it or change it... you only get to pick one.

Originally Posted by Boldly Go

You shouldn’t have to justify your relationship choice via bigotry..

The author isn't hiding his racial vitriol very well.

Being pissed off at an ethnic group or class of people isn't a good reason for decision making in my opinion. I read through this heavy handed classist post and really took away from it a good guide on how to NOT come to a worldview.

Originally Posted by Boldly Go

polyamory is a perfect choice for a lot of abusers

Oh give me a break. Seriously?

Because someone is poly does not somehow change their responsibility to take care of themselves. If someone is being abusive it is the unfortunate responsibility of the abused to take care of that situation. It's tough, it can be scary, there can be a host of negative repercussions, but that's the way it is. There is exactly zero difference between the victims responsibility if they are mono or poly.

The assertion is that it somehow becomes the responsibility of the other persons lovers (if they have any at the time) to weed out abusers. It is? So that goes for friends and roommates too, right? If I am being abused it is now YOUR responsibility to take care of it because you are intimate in my life?

The answer is no, it's not your responsibility (I'm not talking about kids here, before that argument jumps up).

Originally Posted by Boldly Go

Not to mention, it becomes really hard to identify abusers when everyone’s boning them and no one seems to think about accountability

Honestly, this author is just angry. Thy sound like they got burned, is envious of other people to the EXTREME, and is coming to important decisions based on his heightened emotions.