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Old 12-12-2009, 09:50 PM
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rolypoly rolypoly is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 350

Hmm, crisare, I'm not sure I see where you're coming from. I don't really know what to say.

Can you clarify what you mean by "demonize"? It seems that you see avoiding the word "need" as demonizing it? Or that by not using the word, it implies a negative connotation?

What I wrote was largely in response to what redsirenn wrote:
I hear so often poly people talking about how one person can't fulfill all thier needs - thus one argument (for lack of a better word) for practicing poly.

I always think: "DUH!" Then why don't you go out there and fulfill them yourself instead of "needing" someone else to do it for you?
In my life, I do indeed mean that "different people access different parts of me". My lover 'D' and I geek out on natural building and my friend 'R' and I geek out on Scrabble. 'R' isn't anywhere near as interested in natural building as I am and 'D' isn't bothered by Scrabble one way or another.

It really boils down to how you define the word 'need'.

I also wrote:
I have a penchant toward the word "need" simply because it's the language I've learned through NVC. I like to recognize which needs I am having that are/are not being met within myself when an emotion comes up.
I don't attach negativity to the word need. I do have difficulty with the word as an expression of love/affection. Although I don't think anyone should be subjected to examining their words so closely, I do wholeheartedly wish for a culture where people live consciously, including communicating consciously. When someone says, "I need you", what do they really mean? Do they know what they mean? Being aware of this is what interests me.

Hmm, for someone who didn't know what to say, I sure said a lot. LOL!
My heart is too big to fit into one person.
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codependence, independence, insensate, need vs. want

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