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  #511  
Old 09-12-2012, 06:03 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Last night, I cleaned my room, set out some fresh candles. This morning, I dressed sharply, put on a couple of touches of makeup (I *never* do makeup) and perfume.

We had a plan to meet at a city park, eat at a downtown restaurant, then go back to my place.

Mid-afternoon, Gia messaged me to let me know that, due to some logistical snafus, she needed to pick Bee up right after work, and Eric wouldn't be home to take over watching him until a couple of hours after that. I surprised myself a little by not being put out by the news. I knew that she still wanted to see me, and that this was an unavoidable annoyance, like so many in her life. This is part of being a parent. We would make it work. Though we didn't have much time to talk, it sounded like the plan had shifted to cooking at her place.

I gave her a ride to the daycare, and there we decided to try going to a restaurant after all, with Bee with us. I found an upscale place nearby on my phone, and we gave it a go. Bee was GREAT, thank gods. He sat in his little high chair between us and ate bits of fruit and played with his toys and mostly actually let us focus on eating and talking to each other, it was a minor miracle.

There was a candle on the table (well away from the baby, of course).

We even managed to get in dessert and coffee, by which time Bee was beginning to fuss. We hurried home to find that Eric had just gotten in. Bee had fallen asleep in his carseat, so Eric just got into the car and took him away to visit with friends right away, leaving Gia and I alone.

She sat at her computer desk. I knelt at her feet and laid my head in my lap. She put on some music and sang along softly as she played with my hair. It was one of those timeless moments where you're not thinking about anything, just existing, content, perfect.

Then we retreated to her room and closed the door. We cuddled and talked. We heard Eric come home, but we didn't leave the room. I wasn't sure if anything would happen. She seemed a little hesitant, caught up in what I can now recognize as her anxiety. I was perfectly ok with just being close and affectionate together, but I did want very much to touch her. I asked her gentle questions. Once I was sure it was ok, I ran my hands over her clothed limbs, then started massaging her shoulders, her feet, then between her legs. To sum up, things got sexy and it was aaaaawesoooome. When I touched her, it turned me on so much that it was almost like touching myself, it was crazy.

Afterwards, I asked Gia if she'd mind if I slept with Eric one-on-one sometime. She assured me, her face and voice very warm and sincere, that that would be fine with her (makes me feel silly for assuming it probably wouldn't be for so long!). Then she poked her head out of the room. Bee was still sleeping in his carseat, Eric had brought it in and set it on the floor. After quickly checking with me, she invited him to join us. EVEN SEXIER TIMES ENSUED. This time, rather than a minor miracle, I'd have to classify it as a regular, full-blown miracle -- Bee stayed sleeping, and the three of us got to enjoy ourselves to our hearts' content. I still have a crick in my neck from the angle we were using at one point, though.

Eric and I left the room before Gia did, and I took the opportunity to quietly thank him for the time with her. I mean, really -- he'd worked a LONG day, came home late, rushed back out after barely saying hello to his wife, had barely even had a bite to eat by the time he got BACK to his home, and he just gave us all the space and time we needed... until we wanted him, of course. It's not like I haven't paid my dues in this relationship, but it's much easier for me to give. I'm not exhausted and broke and stressed on a daily basis the way they are, the way he is. He really is a good metamour (not to mention *excellent* in the sack).

I left feeling utterly satisfied, relaxed, loved, in love, and calm about the future.
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The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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  #512  
Old 09-13-2012, 03:07 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Belatedly, thanks for the encouragement, Rainy and Jay!

Completely random notes.

I'm listed as the emergency back-up contact for Bee at his daycare. I like this fact.

Gia invited me to come as her date to her office's holiday party. She started working at the same place Eric does over the summer and, not long ago, she was fretting about not being out as poly there. I guess she's decided to come out.

I'm waiting until October to invite G&E&B to dinner with my parents. My parents told me I should invite them a while back, but things are very busy right now and I want to wait until it's calmer. Admittedly, I'm also nervous. I'm curious as to whether Eric will choose to come. I plan to tell him that he's completely welcome, but that his presence is not required... they may be interested in him, but it's really my girlfriend and her child that they want to meet.

I dreamed the other day that I adopted a baby girl. I woke up thinking about needing to buy formula for her. It's the first time I've ever had a dream like that.

Davis's birthday is tomorrow. I'm going to take him out to eat. The weekend after next, we're going to go camping just the two of us, which we've never done before.
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The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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  #513  
Old 09-13-2012, 08:29 PM
Jaynine Jaynine is offline
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i love reading your posts. i can relate to your thoughts alot. things are going well in some ways better some not as good. i can see how much my bf loves me and wants to keep me in his life forever. i always said to myself and them if i thought our relationship was putting a strain on their marriage i would leave. easier said than done. my relationship with bf is amazing, its been 18 months now and the nre has quietened down slightly but now i feel a deeper love and an understanding. my relationship with his wife, my gf, has been so up and down due to many reasons i understand but now feels more like a very very close friendship, the intimacy has died down somewhat. our sexual intimacy as a 3 has also decreased and this is sad. i asked gf about this yesterday and she said she felt the focus last year became too much on me and bf pushing for 1:1 time that it put her off joining in as a 3. she admits that she really beleived, when she fell for me and we all started spending time together and then they asked me to move in, that it would remain her and him, and us 3 separately. then bf fell in love with me too, she honestly didnt count on that happening.

so i dont know where that leaves us, ive had 2 nights in past week where gf has been away and ive spent the whole night in bed with bf and its been amazing. we are all so different. bf loves to be told how much he is wanted and loves me initiating sex, and after my 20 year marriage with no desire in me for my husband, i love turning him on, and iniatating sex often. gf always waits for either of us to initiate intimacy and that makes it hard. she beleives she needs to see us wanting her to feel loved. both me and bf would love for her to make the move occasionally. everyone needs to feel wanted/ desired sometimes.

i could go on, but starting to ramble, sorry
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  #514  
Old 09-13-2012, 08:43 PM
Jaynine Jaynine is offline
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just to add, for anyone who hasnt read my other posts, our relationship is supposed to be a triad, with me not as a secondary, im happy with this arrangement but at times feel like a secondary and feel lonely. bf tries really hard to support, love and care for me as an equal, and he makes me feel like an equal. gf makes it really obvious that im way down on her priority list when it comes to him and me, which saddens me. im still contemplating whether to start up an outside relationship if i feel love for another. i know this would please my gf, but not my bf. but then maybe if it came to me falling for another woman she might find it harder than she thinks due to her jealously issues. i dont fall for people easily tho. at present our relationship is closed. p.s. anna, as time goes on my bf makes more and more time for me, we love to go out drinking and dancing together, i can really relate to your special moments with gia and your desire to be more intimate with eric, and your patience and understanding, its so hard sometimes being a new part of a family. especially after being part of my own family for 18 years.
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  #515  
Old 09-14-2012, 09:30 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is online now
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I was reading your post on the 11th and partway through I found my mouth moving into a happy smile for you. A BIG smile, I'm so glad you're finding the people you love having more energy for you in the sexy ways!
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  #516  
Old 09-14-2012, 05:28 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Hey Jay, thanks for sharing. If your relationship is more of a vee than a triad, maybe that's ok, as long as, like you say, your bf is responsive to your needs. When you talk about whether or not you'd consider being open to another partner, you talk about how he'd react and how she'd react. I say, focus on what's best for you.

Tbh, your story and others like it make me feel better about the things that sometimes bug me, like not having the opportunity to live with G&E. Because it seems like it's very hard for things to feel equal in such a situation, especially in the beginning (though there are those who have done it... hi, Phy, if you're reading!), and even though sometimes it feels like it would be great, it would probably hurt like heck at times. Our pace is our pace, and our collective comfort levels are our collective comfort levels.

Glad to have made you smile and for the camaraderie, Anne.
__________________
The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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  #517  
Old 09-14-2012, 06:13 PM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Always with you, Annabel Just a bit silent lately.
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Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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  #518  
Old 09-14-2012, 09:05 PM
Jaynine Jaynine is offline
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thankyou anna ☺
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  #519  
Old 09-14-2012, 09:14 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phy View Post
Always with you, Annabel Just a bit silent lately.
*waves*
__________________
The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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  #520  
Old 09-27-2012, 02:53 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Not too much to share at the moment. Life is on an even keel.

Davis and I have been spending a lot of quality time together lately. We both really enjoyed our two-day camping trip last weekend. Tonight we're going to see a play.

I've settled into a very workable routine with my every-other-week babysitting night with Bee. I give Eric a ride home from the city, where I live/work and he and Gia work (they take the subway in together, but then she gets off earlier and picks up the baby, while he works late so that he can be off with the baby one day a week, so it's waiting for him to get home that cuts into their date nights). I take Bee to the library, which has a great interactive kid's section, then to a diner with me where I grab some grub, then finally back to their place. It's great because there's no longer a question of feeling awkward if they want to fool around while I'm watching the boy. Bee and I both have fun, and I don't even know whether Gia and Eric go out or stay in. Much better system all around.

The night before last I gave Gia a ride home with the intention of just hanging and cooking dinner together (I had a new recipe I was excited to try -- it came out perfectly!). Riding with one of them just makes so much sense if I'm heading that way anyway, and it's a great way to get some extra conversation-time in. I went with her when she picked up Bee from daycare. As we were leaving, merrily chatting and juggling the baby, one of the daycare workers broke in awkwardly and said, looking at me, "So, is she, er, family?" I don't know what her deal was, maybe she had picked up on the vibe between Gia and I. Gia said "She's one of the people who can pick up Bee." I looked the woman in the face and said "I'm a friend." We left it at that.

Yesterday, I ran into her downtown as she was leaving work and I was going to a co-worker's going-away happy hour. It was Eric's day home with Bee, so she had no need to rush home. After checking with Eric, she came with me to the happy hour and stayed for a drink. I bought her her drink and got some fries for us to share, and introduced her to my boss and co-workers as my girlfriend, which felt very nice. She got along well with everyone, and later she told me "Your co-workers are comfortable like flannel!" It's true, they're very relaxed people, very different from her unfortunately-uptight office. She and I sat very close together on a bench, and out of view of everyone else she poked, pinched, and goosed me from time to time. Very dom-y, very hot.
__________________
The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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