Need advice

[cuninglingwist]

Wow some great answers, yes every case is different, so you never know he might accept your bisexuality however:
1) are you prepared to share him with your girlfriend? or is she just for you?
2) would your girlfriend have no problem giving herself to him?
3) have you thought about your options if things go south?
4) are you financially capable of being indipendant?
5) is your girlfriend indipendant, does she have a job?

[nycindie]

There is a thread here called Coming Out - do a search for it - and you might find some good strategies or suggestions by reading others' stories.

[cuninglingwist]

does your girlfriend understand the mental pressure that will be on her? like him,his family, his friends, will see her as the villan, the caurse of the break up.
To be fare, if there is going to be a break up it should be because he cannot accept your natural bisexuality that you thought was just a fun thing you did on a whim, but you now realize its a part of who you are and can not denie it, regardless who the female lover will be in the future.

[Qpmomma]

I have really been thinking about this a lot. I have come to the conclusion that, although it would be great, I am not willing to lose my husband to have a girlfriend. I know that if he has me chose I will chose him and our family over having a girlfriend.

We did have a discussion a while ago about introducing porn in the bedroom. He asked me what kind of porn I liked. I said girl-on-girl. And that would have been the perfect time to tell him. Oddly enough, he didn't say anything about that. But we do watch girl-on-girl. I wonder if he already knows and that's why he hasn't said anything?

[Anneintherain]

Originally Posted by Qpmomma

I have really been thinking about this a lot. I have come to the conclusion that, although it would be great, I am not willing to lose my husband to have a girlfriend. I know that if he has me chose I will chose him and our family over having a girlfriend.

We did have a discussion a while ago about introducing porn in the bedroom. He asked me what kind of porn I liked. I said girl-on-girl. And that would have been the perfect time to tell him. Oddly enough, he didn't say anything about that. But we do watch girl-on-girl. I wonder if he already knows and that's why he hasn't said anything?

It's too bad you don't feel you can tell him you were interested in women in the past, and still are. It doesn't mean it has to lead to opening your relationship, or anything other than sharing a part of you that you've kept from him. Do you really think he'd break up with you over just the opportunity to KNOW you better? Get enraged and hurt that you didn't disclose your past in more detail?

No I don't think watching girl on girl porn makes him know that you are attracted to women. Anytime you watch that porn is still a good opportunity to bring it up if you change your mind. Even just saying "she's really hot" It'd just be a shame if ten years later you find out he would've been perfectly comfortable with knowing you were bisexual all along.