Originally Posted by Anneintherain
Truthfully, my goal isn't to operate from a sense of spontaneity at ALL. Neither my husband or I are "jump into things" sort of people (me ever, he used to be and it usually came with regrets), and even if we were, then we'd still be able to jump into INTERcourse with condoms pretty much after an STI discussion, just not fluid exchange activities.
I wasn't really talking about spontaneity with regard to things you want to do with a new partner or anything like that. I meant spontaneity in the sex act / session itself, or the time you spend doing sexual things. Like, you're making out and stat petting, or whatever, and then want to do more, but it won't just flow from one activity to another because some activities require precautions. And yeah, I know that you don't have to stop and say, "Wait a minute, let me go get the sex kit!" by being prepared and having all the condoms and Saran wrap and everything close by -- but even that makes it sort of like getting ready to bake a cake and you have to prepare your ingredients beforehand. Like those Cialis commercial where they say, "You never know when the moment is right," I like playing things by ear, and having variety. So I guess I just miss the spontaneity of stripping down and getting into whatever we want, like we did in the 70s and 80s, without worrying about equipment and barriers. Don't get me wrong, when I know that sex will happen, I am happily prepared beforehand - I guess seeing it all in B&W drives it home for me how un-spontaneous and cautious we have to be nowadays.