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  #181  
Old 09-07-2012, 07:17 PM
Vinccenzo Vinccenzo is offline
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You are actively seeking poor people BECAUSE of the persuasion your money will have on them?!? I suspected as much but the gall to come out and admit it is stunning.

Your GF isn't going to end up agreeing with you about your Harem Island fantasy because she changed her thinking. She'd be doing it out of fear of losing your income as a resource especially now that you've had a kid together. And you're okay with decimating people's psyches in that way. Sick.

It would be one thing to strive for Jubal's life in Stranger in a Strange Land and try to promote the ideals the familial group in that novel built but what you want isn't that.
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  #182  
Old 09-07-2012, 07:24 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Originally Posted by PolyPhonic View Post
But personally to me, it's more about Anarchy or living free, than enslavement. I want to give the gift of having the SOs enjoy total life freedom. If they want to get a job that's cool. But the gift is that they can enjoy being free with their time to do whatever they are greatest at.
Unless it's getting romantically involved (beyond sex) with another man, and then they are out. Doesn't sound terribly free to me, but maybe that's just me...

And I don't care whether you, your partner, all your neighbours, and all the local farm animals are in favour of you doing a threesome - it's still a very bad idea, given the current precarious nature of your relationship. Two days ago you posted that you and she had broken up (even if you were exaggerating a bit) and now you are going ahead with a threesome. Bad Idea, in my opinion. You came here looking for advice about your situation, and you are getting it.

OK, your concept of having the relationship with the Islanders/Caracoles definitely puts it in a different light than if you were looking to involve expats. You have a total population of, what, around 65k folks, most of whom are expats and transients, and are hoping to find enough natives in there that are within an acceptable age-range, female, unmarried, and poly.

I think you might need to revise your plan.
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Last edited by CielDuMatin; 09-07-2012 at 07:31 PM.
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  #183  
Old 09-07-2012, 07:31 PM
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PolyPhonic PolyPhonic is offline
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
...unless it's getting romantically involved (beyond sex) with another man, and then they are out. Doesn't sound terribly free to me, but maybe that's just me...
There will be a lot of "unless"-es, that's the point of a list of boundaries. However, like I mentioned before if it's a really together, cool guy, who can handle communication, feelings, others, and is basically a "poly guru" than it could be fine.

But allowing the girls the freedom to go find a guy with an attitude and a machete or worse into her life (99.9999% of the male population here)? Yeah, not that free. They can do that without me in their life. And we can agree to that before hand.

Last edited by PolyPhonic; 09-07-2012 at 07:35 PM.
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  #184  
Old 09-07-2012, 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Vinccenzo View Post
You are actively seeking poor people BECAUSE of the persuasion your money will have on them?!? I suspected as much but the gall to come out and admit it is stunning.

Your GF isn't going to end up agreeing with you about your Harem Island fantasy because she changed her thinking. She'd be doing it out of fear of losing your income as a resource especially now that you've had a kid together. And you're okay with decimating people's psyches in that way. Sick.

It would be one thing to strive for Jubal's life in Stranger in a Strange Land and try to promote the ideals the familial group in that novel built but what you want isn't that.
I don't appreciate how you communicate. I'm not going to give you my time/response unless you can do so more respectfully.
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  #185  
Old 09-07-2012, 07:44 PM
Vinccenzo Vinccenzo is offline
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Originally Posted by PolyPhonic View Post
I don't appreciate how you communicate. I'm not going to give you my time/response unless you can do so more respectfully.
I don't rely on your income to survive so I'm likely not as malleable as you'd like. And once again; this isn't Evan's Place. Its public. I don't care if I get your time or responses anymore than I care about getting a postcard from yesterday's bin bag contents.
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  #186  
Old 09-07-2012, 07:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Vinccenzo View Post
I don't rely on your income to survive so I'm likely not as malleable as you'd like. And once again; this isn't Evan's Place. Its public. I don't care if I get your time or responses anymore than I care about getting a postcard from yesterday's bin bag contents.
If you're able to communicate your previous post (not this one, this one's fine) more respectfully, than I can directly answer you and your "you" comments. If you don't need that, than by all means just spout your jaded opinions left and right. But don't expect something like that to be worth anything to anyone except yourself. If you aren't sure how you were communicating was disrespectful I can let you know and give you the opportunity to re-frame.

Last edited by PolyPhonic; 09-07-2012 at 07:58 PM.
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  #187  
Old 09-07-2012, 07:57 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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There will be a lot of "unless"-es, that's the point of a list of boundaries. However, like I mentioned before if it's a really together, cool guy, who can handle communication, feelings, others, and is basically a "poly guru" than it could be fine.

But allowing the girls the freedom to go find a guy with an attitude and a machete or worse into her life (99.9999% of the male population here)? Yeah, not that free. They can do that without me in their life. And we can agree to that before hand.
There is a huge gulf between the two.

Privilege is not only a position of superiority, but it should also be used as a position of responsibility. Based on what you have written, and what little I know of the island you are on, you are most definitely in a position of privilege there. I think that you have some other stuff that you need to work through in order to make this work in any sustainable, moral way.

I'll give you another scenario about focusing on the locals - the "girl" may well be willing and able to move in with you, but since her family is going to be living within a few miles of you, are you prepared to deal with them when they arrive at your doorstep with some massive concerns (possibly backed up with some associated hardware) about what you are doing with their daughter/sister? Expats would be far less of this sort of problem, since they tend to have less immediate local ties.

It's one thing to have the locals be maids, gardeners and cooks, quite another to be in a relationship with them.
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  #188  
Old 09-07-2012, 08:04 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I am actually talking about . . . finding locals who are . . . enamored by the idea of merging with a cultured westerner . . .
You being the "cultured westerner" who would save them from themselves? Did you really mean to say such a thing? If so, your views are clearly those of a supremacist, and elitist, which is rather disgusting. While you indeed may be from a different culture than the locals, do not for a moment believe that you are more cultured, as in, more advanced, more sophisticated, or superior in any way -- nor that any of the local islanders would want to be "merged" with you for any reason other than to take your money and laugh at you behind your back.
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Last edited by nycindie; 09-07-2012 at 08:07 PM.
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  #189  
Old 09-07-2012, 08:14 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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nor that any of the local islanders would want to be "merged" with you for any reason other than to take your money and laugh at you behind your back.
This was one of the concerns that I raised wayyy back when. You may think that they are with you out of love, etc., but the imbalance of privilege is going to attract those that want a rich sugar-daddy to provide for them, buy nice things, until they find a real husband. It's just not going to be sustainable on that basis, as far as I can see, unless you have an ever-changing cast of characters, like the Playboy Mansion (I believe that you said that Hefner was one of your idols)

If Hefner polyamorous?
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  #190  
Old 09-07-2012, 08:38 PM
1onobugga 1onobugga is offline
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ADD NEW LIFESTYLE IDEAS TO THE MIX (for adding crazy pressure):
So then we started watching THE GIRLS NEXT DOOR, POLYAMORY (The Showtime Show), and reading about that lifestyle and I completely realized that was for me and that here on the island I could easily go so far as to setup a kind of den of girls if I wanted to. It'd be very easy down here to do that.

Does not sound like you're ready for poly either. It's more like using the term to your advantage to be able to sleep around with a "den" of women. Would you be understanding if your "wife" told you that she wanted a den of "men"?

Sorry for being so blunt!
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