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  #31  
Old 07-21-2012, 06:30 PM
PinkDragon PinkDragon is offline
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Thanks, Annabel

That's the focus of everything right now. Because it makes her feel safe, she's sleeping in the bed with us, between us. Though she doesn't want Bear to touch her sexually, she does know that he /will/ protect her and just being beside him is helping.

Because I didn't know what her head space was when she got her I told her that I wouldn't touch her unless she told me to. She said, "I'm not going to break." LOL We actually fooled around a little night before last. I think she needed to know for sure that I don't think she's dirty or sullied. Everything was above the waist kissing, caressing, etc.

On the way home yesterday she was in the back seat of my van, my sister was driving, and I was in the passenger seat. She had her arms around me from behind for almost the entire trip. Seeing the little POS was very traumatic for her

This morning when we woke up we laid in the bed curled up together just kind of kissing and petting each other a bit. Not quite platonic, but not with the intention of having sex either. Kwim?

Whatever she needs, we will supply. Safety, rest, love, good food, shoulders to cry on, etc.
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Pinky, 41, f, bi. Married to Bear, 42, m, straight.
Not dating anyone right now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.--EAP
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  #32  
Old 07-24-2012, 01:07 AM
CherryBlossomGirl CherryBlossomGirl is offline
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Wow, that is so intense and terrible. So glad that she has a safe space to be right now after such a traumatic experience.
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  #33  
Old 09-01-2012, 04:22 AM
PinkDragon PinkDragon is offline
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Default Oh well, live and learn

Our triad is no more.

I have completely removed my okcupid ad and I'm not sure that I will ever do this again. At least not the triad thing.

In some ways I feel like that what I've learned is that I have neither the time nor energy to devote to more than one romantic interest at a time. In another way I think that the problem was that it was a triad and that everybody had to talk to everybody before anybody did anything... and well, that didn't work out well.

And there were certainly aspects of the relationship that went way too far, way too fast.

I found out, late, that Bear did not want to have a romantic relationship, at least not with anyone but me... he wants a female fuck buddy that comes over, plays, then goes away. In short, he's more interested in swinging.

Despite all of this... gah, WHY does life have to be complicated? LOL A friend of mine that about a year ago chased me, got me in bed and then decided that she couldn't have a relationship with me, just started flirting and chasing again. WTF?

Now, the reason we didn't have a relationship was because she decided that I was a sub (which I'm not) and she was afraid that she would chew me up. What she found out much later was that I was acting with her the way I was acting because I thought that she had never been with a woman and I didn't want to freak her out. So I was very low key, let her take a lot of the lead.... instead of jumping her like a raving lunatic. ::eye roll::

So, now I'm being chased again.

I really don't know what to do with her. I think I'll sit in my tower and let her climb the walls LOL Let her shower me with gifties while I take my own sweet time considering the entire thing.

Meanwhile, I would like to remain friends with Lovely, but I'm not sure how that's going to play out.

For right this instant though.... I've been home from the local high school football game (which our guys won, 43-35) for about half an hour and I need a shower. Despite the wind blowing it was still hot tonight. Ick.

TTYL
__________________
Pinky, 41, f, bi. Married to Bear, 42, m, straight.
Not dating anyone right now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.--EAP
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  #34  
Old 09-05-2012, 02:26 PM
PinkDragon PinkDragon is offline
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Default Mistake

I've made a decision, faced a fact, come to a realization. For me the whole poly thing is a huge mistake. I regret that Lovely got hurt in the process. Truly I do, I wish there was a way to fix that, but there isn't.

I really have to give kudos to those of you who make this work because I don't think I can. I have neither the time, the energy, nor (I'm sure) the inclination to do what is necessary to balance all of the ups and downs of more than one relationship at a time. At least not while married. There were times before I married that I had multiple relationships all going at the same time, and that was great. But, I didn't have to live with any of them.

But this? No. This didn't work.

I deleted my profile off of OKC last week. I had actually mostly forgotten about it. Out of sight, out of mind, and all that. I hadn't been on there in weeks anyway.

There are other reasons that go into this.... I have a chronic illness that saps my energy, especially when I have a flare up. It's hard enough to take care of my immediate family, house, jobs, and pets with that going on. I'm pretty sure that my son got Asperger's Syndrome from me as I don't handle too many people in my space very well and I need LOTS of quiet/alone time. Sometimes I don't have much of a libido and start to think of sex as a chore to be accomplished instead of something fun to do.

So! Back to monogamy for me with perhaps the occasional friend with benefits thrown in. But, no, I'm not going to try to have A Relationship with anyone other than Bear.

Not even the hawt redhead that's chasing me again.
__________________
Pinky, 41, f, bi. Married to Bear, 42, m, straight.
Not dating anyone right now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.--EAP
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