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Old 09-05-2012, 10:17 AM
Cleo Cleo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 485

Originally Posted by Violet1 View Post
He says there is no difference, but I think there is, because when I'm at work I'm sitting at a desk doing mundane paperwork, etc. And when he's at work on the weekends, he's at a bar, with his bandmates, and is able to drink and socialize on set breaks. The night he met this girl was a night she was tending bar at the place they were playing. So he even has chances to meet women when he's at his "work."
you have chances to meet people at work, you met him there, right ? (sorry - nitpicking, or maybe not, because I do recognize the workings of your brain in this. )

Originally Posted by Violet1 View Post
The problem lies in that those damned Thursdays are the only night he has off between the two jobs. I feel like at this point, I have to pretty much just let him do whatever, and just deal with feeling like shit. Which isn't a good position to be in, but what other option do I have?
could it be true that you just don't want him to have sex with her, period? that the timing doesn't really matter? Because if he can't have sex with her on his one night off, then when would he have sex with her? It seems like your boundary is a veto in disguise.

Again, something I recognize and have done numerous times. I created and asked for boundaries and then wondered why I was still upset, when my husband respected my boundaries.

If you can accept the fact that he wants to spend time with someone you don't like, wants to have sex with someone you don't like, when you accept that you don't really uderstand him when it comes to his relationship with this girl (and not understanding can feel like such a huge threat), then, I think, the where and when of there sex life won't matter much anymore.
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 + years
Bo - BF of 3 years
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boundary pushing, control issues

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