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  #71  
Old 09-04-2012, 04:10 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Naw, she's too..... Needy to share my men. Lol. She wants to be taken care of and have laws that decide what she can or can't do with her body. Not to mention, she's too possessive and immature for the level of poly-ness I require in my polyandry household.
Besides, I don't care for the view of Russia from her place and my boys have to be kept in the zone, which she's simply incapable of. ;p
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  #72  
Old 09-04-2012, 04:11 AM
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Folks, if I could call for a time-out here - Evan came here with questions about his relationships. Some of us (me included) took exception to his language when he describes both his current situation, his take on poly and his intended poly goal.

But I think that we are starting to go overboard with the mockery, and I would like to ask us to maybe stop this.

Evan, I think that you have got answers to your questions - they weren't necessarily the ones that you were looking for, but I hope that some of the posts have helped in your thought processes. I think that you have a hard road ahead of you.

Is there anything more than you need to ask us about? Something that we may be able to help you with?
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  #73  
Old 09-04-2012, 04:17 AM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Originally Posted by evanevans View Post
This thread is about me, for me, and at most someday for someone else in a similar spot. If you aren't interested, you move on. I'm here to discuss what's very important to two people on this earth, and this thread is for those who care to help, or reflect. If you want to express you don't care, I think you should just do so privately since that's not helpful to anyone needing help.
Interesting perspective. I'm quite capable of posting a thread that is about me and my issues, without announcing to the world that I'm the most mature woman any guy is ever going to find and I'd be smart to keep them in line myself rather than let another (apparently lesser) woman in to upset the balance and order that I alone can control. That's the kind of thing that would make someone say you're full of yourself...not that you posted a thread about yourself.

Quote:
being able to see Belize *and* Nicaragua would put you in the middle of the ocean somewhere south-west of Jamaica with the ability to see about 500 miles so not sure quite how large your mountain is... :-)
This amazing island, from which both Belize and Nicaragua can be seen, and the incredible eyesight to see that far, and photo shoots with models and composing music and dating 40 women at a time in LA and six children lead me to believe this is an aspiring author, most definitely of fiction. I have to say, I'm entertained.

If the part about the girlfriend and poly is actually true, then you've been given the answer. She clearly doesn't want to do this. You clearly do. You're not a match. I hope she finds someone who is mature enough that he doesn't feel the need to tell everyone how mature and intelligent and in control and fantastic he is, and someone kind enough not to push her to do things she doesn't want to do.
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  #74  
Old 09-04-2012, 04:28 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Folks, if I could call for a time-out here - Evan came here with questions about his relationships. Some of us (me included) took exception to his language when he describes both his current situation, his take on poly and his intended poly goal.

But I think that we are starting to go overboard with the mockery, and I would like to ask us to maybe stop this.

Evan, I think that you have got answers to your questions - they weren't necessarily the ones that you were looking for, but I hope that some of the posts have helped in your thought processes. I think that you have a hard road ahead of you.

Is there anything more than you need to ask us about? Something that we may be able to help you with?
Cdm, you know how much respect i have for you as a poly guru and provider of women, but i just checked an atlas of central america. The OP should do the same next time. Belize and Nicaragua? Srsly? Couldn't evan have picked something like jamaica and honduras? At least then he might have lasted longer. Now his only hope is maybe you'll let him borrow your girls.
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  #75  
Old 09-04-2012, 04:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
OK, let me try a different tack for a moment.... and some of this may contain some over-generalizations....
Sure...
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Most of the poly women that I know wouldn't be interested in a setup like you describe. They need to feel empowered, to feel like they are seen as a true individual desires and personalities.
Um, yeah I don't have a problem with that. So I'm not sure where everyone is getting the idea that I am a male chauvinist. There has been a lot of talk about this "harem" concept, but that's not really what this post was even about. That might be a fantasy and I've got some ideas jotted down for the fun of it, but I think everyone is really focusing on that comment which I said a few times was just a fleeting thought that was thrown out there during a discussion once with my wife-to-be. I mentioned it so that the entire range of what had been spoken could be understood, but that was very minimally mentioned, and is not part of our discussions. Though I appreciate your knowledge and experience, and it might come in handy if I am not able to stay with her and I attempt to create my "nest".
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
I don't think that what you are trying to set up is particularly empowering - it's saying that you are the alpha male and that they don't need to worry their little heads about anything - you will take care of them.
Hey look, that's the base. They can rely on me. If they want to be more independent or even take care of me or others, great that's wonderful. But the idea is to start somewhere honorable and respectful.
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
I have met (and for a while lived in) a section of society who tends to contain women who are more willing to want this sort of thing - a man to keep them and buy them pretty things. They tend to be quite two-faced, not open about their feelings, and will often go behind the backs of any situation that doesn't suit them.
Absolutely. And as someone who knows how to spot someone like that in an instant, I already know how to steer clear of that. But you are absolutely right. I would have a hard time finding an open poly woman who wants to be "kept". I appreciate you being able to say such things with a tongue of respect, but even I get irked about such a situation. I'm not a possessive person, I am not interested in owning girls. I just want to offer them the fun life I can lead, together.
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Having an open and honest relationship with fully open communication will always be a massive challenge in a situation like this.
Yes I see what you mean. It's a personality thing.
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
I don't think that most of the tenets of poly are really going to apply in your ideal situation
No, they probably wouldn't. But I think I can cultivate it from impressionable girls.
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
because you are going to frequently be dealing with issues of cheating.
Ah well, that is to the point. However if guidelines as to their own sexual freedom are set out, than what might be considered cheating...won't be. Ok, so that'll have to be something I really carve out in the plan. I already have some ideas regarding STDs and BC and I'll need to work with other's ideas as they come into discussion.
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
You also haven't yet answered some of my other questions about your "rules" of sex that I wrote about above.
I'm open to working with the needs of the girls, and seeing what works for me and what doesn't. I'm new to this, so I am going in with an open mind and heart, and ready to adjust and learn along the way.
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
So I think that even if you do manage to come to terms with your current partner you are really going to struggle to find the type of woman that you're going to need to really make this work as a poly relationship, especially on a small island.
I see what you mean. But I've already got a "unicorn" cornered. If it wasn't for my fiancee being against moving someone in, she would probably already be living with us. She is super cool, hot, bi, and wants an intimate relationship with a man and a woman, and adores us. My fiancee unfortunately is being a cock-block to that vision, which I love and I'm sure many poly's love as well.
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Most Caribbean islands... (and I'm not sure which one you are on, since being able to see Belize *and* Nicaragua would put you in the middle of the ocean somewhere south-west of Jamaica with the ability to see about 500 miles so not sure quite how large your mountain is... :-) )
Haha, well done. Without giving up too much more information, I can indeed see the tips of Belizean mountains near the border of Belize at the horizon on a very clear day with my 400x Telescope, and I can indeed see mountains just before the border of Nicaragua even with my 10x Binoculars. I could tell you the distances in a private message if you like. Nice detective work
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
...tend to be fairly conservative and religious, so you'd be looking at ex-pats as your companions.
That's not the dynamic here though I hear you. This is not a conservative island at all. Think Cancun if you want to get in the right frame of mind.
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
I just can't see this working in any stable way for you, sorry.
Ok well that's good to know. I wouldn't want to throw everything away for a shot at something that's going to be frustrating and liek dealing with dynamite. But of course, I'm going to continue researching in the meantime, so I can get to the point where I have found a style which gives me the happiness I need as a person who is most likely poly oriented.

The "harem" castle thing is just a fantasy. If it can be done, I'll figure it out, but everyone can be rest assured that I would be doing it respectfully and safely and in the spirit of poly, not like a sex crazed male chauvinist which seems to be how everyone thinks I am. That's cool. I said the wrong things at some points here. I understand. I gave the wrong impression. It happens. But that is not what I am trying to do.
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  #76  
Old 09-04-2012, 04:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Folks, if I could call for a time-out here - Evan came here with questions about his relationships. Some of us (me included) took exception to his language when he describes both his current situation, his take on poly and his intended poly goal.

But I think that we are starting to go overboard with the mockery, and I would like to ask us to maybe stop this.

Evan, I think that you have got answers to your questions - they weren't necessarily the ones that you were looking for, but I hope that some of the posts have helped in your thought processes. I think that you have a hard road ahead of you.

Is there anything more than you need to ask us about? Something that we may be able to help you with?
Thanks. And that's ok. Let them be who they are. I appreciate you keeping the discussion on track for me since I am new hear and easily steamrolled. Best regards and until there are any new developments, I've gotten a lot out of this, and some members PM-ed me with some great links to check out, and they have indeed been very apropos to what I need to hear right now, what my fiancee and I need to hear right now. Thanks again.
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  #77  
Old 09-04-2012, 04:52 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Originally Posted by evanevans View Post
Ok you really need me to defend myself? Why do you need that?
I don't need anything from you - I am am just a random stranger on the internet. You came here asking for a response and I gave one. You responded to my preamble and to nothing of the substance of my post - so I called you on it.

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Originally Posted by evanevans View Post
Just because you are offensive does not mean I owe you my defense.
I'm sorry if you found my genuine response to your post offensive. You owe me nothing (the random strangers on the internet thing...) I'm confused as to why you thing that I, personally, am offensive - you haven't met me. (Just as I have not met you - perhaps you are less offensive to ME in person - although I doubt it.)

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Originally Posted by evanevans View Post
I'm perfectly happy with you being the kind of person who thinks they have me all figured out and can label and judge me. I'm not stupid, I read exactly how you see me. With what little you have to go on you think you have defined me.
So, you can see "exactly" all the implications of how I see you based on a few words I have posted on an internet forum but I am not allowed to judge you based on the few words that you have posted on the same forum? Sorry (not really), you post a few lines of sexist drivel here, and then people respond to them. That is the nature of "teh intarwebz".

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Originally Posted by evanevans View Post
... Not everyone is important to my well being in the world, and people who cast me negative energy are really not worth me wasting my own energy working with.
Yes, I agree completely.

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Originally Posted by evanevans View Post
I don't need you to transform into someone who understands me. I don't have that need.
Thank Goodness!


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Originally Posted by evanevans View Post
I'm sure you have something valuable to offer me, but it's not worth accepting you to get to it. Feel free to continue with your method of communication, but I'm not interested in giving it any attention.
It's valuable... but not worth giving it any attention. THIS may actually be a hint as to the problems you have had with your relationships with other women.

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Originally Posted by evanevans View Post
I don't think I could be your friend in real life if this is how you behaved, and I think you should stop trying this tact in trying to get to know me and my situation better if you expect me to give you my time.
I don't expect anything from you. I have enough friends "in real life" (more than, as an INTJ, I need , in fact. I can assure you that, in RL, I am every bit as capable of calling "bullshit" as I am on the internet. My friends appreciate this...anyone who doesn't can feel free to NOT be my friend.

Quote:
Originally Posted by evanevans View Post
If you really need me to answer some of your points, if they are truly meant to help, I will. However I think you are just trying to satisfy your own need for a giggle at my expense.

But if you are being serious, if you think there is something you can help with, just let me know and I'll be glad to be completely objective about answering your questions. I don't know you, but I know I don't need to give what you wrote my attention, the way you wrote it.
I don't NEED anything from you. I was being serious (in my response to you - I did have a few giggles at your expense regarding your "understanding" of the female psyche). I don't know that I can help you because I think that your fundamental assumptions are flawed. Feel free to disregard my posts - they only represent ONE poly-bi-girl's opinion (and you wouldn't be interested in what poly-bi-girls think about your situation because you are only interested in mono-straight-boys right? - just kidding!)

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Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


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  #78  
Old 09-04-2012, 04:56 AM
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Wow, I see several chauvinistic words and approaches in your last posts alone Evan.
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  #79  
Old 09-04-2012, 05:00 AM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Originally Posted by evanevans View Post
But I've already got a "unicorn" cornered. If it wasn't for my fiancee being against moving someone in, she would probably already be living with us. She is super cool, hot, bi, and wants an intimate relationship with a man and a woman, and adores us. My fiancee unfortunately is being a cock-block to that vision.


I sincerely hope that your fiance finds someone who treats her with love and respect, rather than regard her as a 'cock-block' standing in the way of his fun...er...vision.

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  #80  
Old 09-04-2012, 05:09 AM
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Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
Gala girl, you ovbiously are with janey because you don't know what women want either. All women want to live together and have the babies of the same man. They can be allowed to have sex with the other men and with each other, but in order to go with the other men, they each have to live on a different island where you can see belize and el salvador from your back yard, just like in alaska where sarah palin lives, but the island is part of antartica.
haha, now that was funny :P
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