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Old 09-02-2012, 04:59 PM
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PolyPhonic PolyPhonic is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Okay, so you feel that "poly ways" are vastly different from "mono ways" and monos have incredible difficulty understanding polyfolk.
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Several of us are saying poly relationships aren't all that different from mono ones and that there are challenges in helping a mono understand, but it can be done.
Excellent. I'm glad to hear that.
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Remember, that many of us who practice poly in our lives were staunchly mono prior to doing so.
Absolutely. I was too. But I believe I have always had a mindset which is malleable and open. And I'm getting to the point that the people who have a "mono block" are probably the one's that appear to have staked their self-esteem in their beliefs and it gives them shivers to try and understand "Poly" as something other than "people being promiscuous or unable to be monogamous." And it's this that makes me agree with people who say that poly people are more "evolved". I understand what they are getting at. I don't fully agree, because maybe fucking a bunch of people is more primitive, but the idea is that to have an open malleable mind is more evolved. But that's a whooooole other debate that I don't agree with using the word "evolved" for. My basic point is, if a person is truly mono than they can't understand poly natively and that in itself gives them a block. I think this thread is useful and valid for someone who may have hoped to be able to communicate to their mono about such a matter in hopes of opening them up. That is why I posed the opinion/theory I posed.
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
But you disagree and want to argue your view.
Uh no, I don't disagree. I have an open mind to it being a discussion. Do you always talk to other people such that you tell them what they are or are not thinking? I don't find that to be very respectful communication, though I totally understand you. But still I think you shouldn't tell someone what they are thinking or they might find that feeling like a boundary issue of yours. Personally I'm fine. Just letting you know so you don't get into trouble with anyone else. No hard feelings. We're supposed to be just discussing.
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Alright, so monogamous peeps have a hard time "getting" what poly is -- so what?
Well look, if it's not interesting to you than why come in here and bag on the discussion? Maybe you don't get the point of discussing it because it's not applicable to you. I find it an applicable discussion for anyone who would think that anyone and everyone can understand Poly if they just listen to the right words. But what I'm saying is that it might be the case with some that they can never get to that point no matter how hard you try and if that is a significant other it could be very frustrating for both of you.
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Did you actually want a discussion or just the opportunity to defend your stance?
It was a statement, with an opportunity for discussion.
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
What's the big deal?
Nothing I think for you. But it is for me in my situation and it might be for others too sometime.
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
What's your point?
I think we understand each other now.
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