Sober light of day, ahh yes it started with his apology, thank you for that, it ended pretty well. He is going to spend some time thinking about why my past is such an issue for him. He says maybe because he has guilt, (being wired mono) for wanting to screw around and feels he needed to somehow justify it to himself by coming down on me. I understand that and he is surprisingly trying to own his shit. Good. He is really not morally capable of sleeping with someone else and is mad at himself, me, the world, for being capable. I understand that too, he is trying to package that one in it's proper box as well. I have some guilt for even suggesting he try to be poly, as he is clearly having conflict over it in thought and action. Kudos to him for putting forth the effort to really know himself, now we are working on the drinking. He feels it's easier for him to speak what he feels when he's had a few. I feel it's a cop out incase he says something he might regret, he can just pull the 'I was drunk' card. That is not acceptable for me, so now we have more work.
I am thankful he is willing to do the work. I do not regret bringing the whole subject of poly up though. It has been stressful, yes, but also has brought our communiction levels to an all time high and beatiful place. I'm sure it's going to be a long time before he will be able to be ok with this, if ever, but at least we can TALK it out.