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Old 08-17-2012, 07:51 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,271

Again, maybe you cannot find it because you know what you want in the gut, but haven't brought it out of your brain on to paper.

If you cannot express what you seek, how can anyone sign up? Nobody is a mind reader.

Hi, my name is scubadiver1.

I am recently divorced.
I am X years old and work as a X.
I have / do not have kids/pets.
My interests are scuba and _____.

I am currently looking for a relationship that will
  • provide me with sex
  • could lead to a long term, serious thing
  • It could be monogamous -- like me and you
  • It could be polyfidelity in the shape of a triad or "V" arrangement.
    • I would be/not be willing to be one of the end points
    • I would be/not be willing to be the hinge
      While poly friendly I would NOT want it to come in the shape of (what? poly tangles? Same sex? Age gap bigger than 50 years?)

C'mon dude. You can do it. Read, learn, and then learn to spit it out so you can shop at the right places with your offer of "Relationship with Scuba!"

If you need others to help you figure it out, spit it out. Nobody is going to judge you.

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Old 08-19-2012, 12:03 AM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 14,758

Hi scubadiver1,
Glad you're on our forum.

From what I've heard, polyamory is most often defined as multiple romantic relationships, where everyone involved is informed about all of the relationships, and is okay with it. So, MMF and FFM vees/triads are certainly one kind of polyamory, as is everyone living together, but there are many other kinds of polyamory. What would not be polyamorous (but rather another kind of non-monogamy) would be if it was "just about sex" or if emotional connections were avoided. Poly people can, of course, have some "non-poly" situations in their life. Some polyamorists are also swingers, for instance.

I would say don't be in a rush; take your time to learn all about polyamory, and find out exactly how to describe/explain what you're looking for, both to yourself and to others.

Sorry to hear about your divorce. I hope it can become a new doorway into new ways of living.

Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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Old 08-19-2012, 05:50 AM
Storm77's Avatar
Storm77 Storm77 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 24

@scubadiver1 - I believe I'm in that rut right now with banging my head against the wall trying to figure out how to find someone. I also have thought of sinking to just finding someone for casual sex in hopes it may lead to more. (There are plenty of women into casual sex and unhappy wives out there but don't know about sinking to that level when I want more!)

Although in my situation I am still married. together 10 years, married 7 years and hoping it continues even though poly has really rocked our relationship. So I can sort of understand after being through a divorce may likely feel even worse off trying to start another relationship even more.

Not sure if you're having the same issues as to "where" to search or contact people. Polyamory doesn't seem to go over to well on typical dating sites even tho in our case I think we're both looking for Long Term relationships.

I've tried posting more on here in hopes of making friends and maybe meet someone through networking.

Also joined Fetlife, I'm very new on there but it looks like you can search for local people, search groups, etc. It seems to revolve mainly around fetishes but there are some groups which cover poly so there must be people into it on there. Crossing fingers to find some local even as just friends so don't have to go through the whole OMG YOUR MARRIED!?

Otherwise for normal dating sites we both believe Okcupid is the best, wife has already started dating through it but of course being male it's more of a challenge (imo) to find anyone accepting of someone married or poly.
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