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  #51  
Old 08-17-2012, 07:19 PM
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What a lecture! Sheesh.
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  #52  
Old 08-17-2012, 07:24 PM
Hannahfluke Hannahfluke is offline
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Mercury, I do have a question about your definition of polyamory. You keep saying over and over again that in order to be polyamorous, a person has to have a primary, loving relationship and add other loving relationships to it. It comes out very clearly that you think in order to be poly, a person has to have a live in partner. So do single people who have multiple loving relationships (and I'll even say that those relationships can be restricted to only your very narrow definition) but don't live with any of them, not count as poly?
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  #53  
Old 08-17-2012, 10:45 PM
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You haven't read any of the responses but you're in here posting titangraphs expecting the rest of us to take a look.

ROFL
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  #54  
Old 08-18-2012, 02:37 AM
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I guess this is where we should all feel greatly privileged that the official arbiter of all that is poly has deigned to take time from her busy schedule to explain The One True Poly to us.

How did anyone ever manage more than one relationship without her sage advice?
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  #55  
Old 08-18-2012, 06:40 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mercury View Post
Oh, and what I mean by people not being open to casual sexual relationships if they're truly polyamorous is this. A person who's polyamorous WANTS many loves, meaning they seek it. They're disappointed when something is just casual. They don't seek casual sex and think (as an after thought) "it'd be cool if one of them turns to love." The former is a polyamorous person for whom many loves is the intent and the main approach. The latter is a casual sex seeker who thinks "love may or may not happen; it's all good; I'll get sex, at any rate."
Er, what? Why can't you have many loves and also have casual sex as well? They're not mutually exclusive. You can want one, you can want the other, you can want neither or both. There isn't just one "poly state of mind" that makes the person what super-committed relationships only, and never anything casual.

So if someone has two spouses, and casual sex as well, they're suddenly not poly anymore according to you? I find that idea very weird.
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  #56  
Old 08-18-2012, 07:11 AM
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But mercury has spoken. Thus it is so.
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  #57  
Old 08-18-2012, 01:47 PM
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Well, this thread has been well and truly hijacked, hm?

In some ways I understand what mercury says - the idea of folks that only want sex masquerading (and selling themselves) as poly and expecting everyone to go along with it is pretty annoying. Or those that are quite happy to lie and cheat and otherwise be deceptive using the term to get people to enter a relationship with them.

All that gets very tiresome, especially when they start to get defensive and aggressive.

I disagree that "true" poly people never want casual sex, though. Is your relationship with that person a poly relationship when it's based purely on sex that isn't "poly". But that doesn't put any valuation on the relationship - not saying it's better or worse in some way than a poly relationship.
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