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Old 12-09-2009, 05:29 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
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Default that "new" feeling with my husband because of my new boyfriend.

I have a husband and now a boyfriend, Mono, that I consider equal as far as significant others... Mono coming into my life has changed my relationship dynamic with my husband and our family.

It seems when a new person enters a poly relationship that it is as if the relationship between the two (or more) that were already there goes through a period of time where they are starting all over again... get to know each other all over again in terms of another being a part of the dynamic.

The feelings I had at the beginning of my relationship with my husband started again at the same time as I went through the beginning stages of my relationship with Mono.

I remember looking at my husband and wondering intently what he was thinking and going through, how he saw himself in our relationship and what his roll now was in my life. I wondered how much he loved me and our sex life changed as I rediscovered things I like and new things I like. We adjusted our time together to incorporate a new person and everything between us just seemed new... as it does when a new relationship starts.

Now, on the dawn of a year of being together all three of us I find it hard to separate the two of them in my mind. They make up one whole relationship to me... much like having roommates for a year. The thought of either of them going just doesn't fit. The whole thing would collapse without three. I doubt I can go back to it just being my husband and I and I can't see being with Mono without my husband.

Anyone else have any thoughts on that, those of you who have established long term poly relationships?
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long term relationships, new relationships, nre, relationship dynamics, vee

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