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  #11  
Old 08-16-2012, 07:26 PM
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Thanks for the response! I have a score of hard to manage mental conditions atm, but I been told that they should lessen considerably or disappear entirely after two years.

Another related question; do you think there are some diagnosis that are fads, I.e.suddenly everybody has them?

I've noticed something like this lately with Ad(h)d, autism and borderline personality diagnoses.
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  #12  
Old 08-16-2012, 07:51 PM
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I think it is possibly like pregnancy. When I was pregnant, the whole WORLD was pregnant. Now that I am not, nobody is.

I think it was my own hyperawareness.

But it is also possible that as people in the medical field get more aware themselves, they are better able to dx those with the thing.

So it's not that there is MORE of those things around. Just more dx.

GG
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  #13  
Old 08-16-2012, 08:35 PM
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I think that for me it's a yellow flag. It's something that needs to be noted and discussed. I am at the stage of my life where I am not looking for something that is drama-laden, which means that I need the folks around me to be fairly consistent in how they react to things. I don't need to feel like it's a crapshoot each time I interact with one of my partners as to how it's going to go, or whether their illness will cause them to possibly violate agreed boundaries.

That having all been said, there are some folks who haven't been diagnosed with anything who I think are far less stable than some of the folks I know that *have* been diagnosed.
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  #14  
Old 08-16-2012, 09:29 PM
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It's a flag for me, but I go case by case. I have my own shit to deal with, Storm has his own shit to deal with. We as a couple need to be aware of how we react to each other, etc.

For anyone new, it depends on how they cope. If they are responsible for their own actions and behaviors, then I have no issue with it.
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  #15  
Old 08-17-2012, 02:28 AM
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red flag-yes
deal breaker-no

Our WHOLE family is ADHD.
I have SAD also.

I wouldn't jump into any relationship without ensuring that the person is a good fit for the WHOLE FAMILY. But-that's just me. It's too much of everything for me to manage casual relationships at this point in my life and anything more serious has to be functional for all of us.
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  #16  
Old 08-17-2012, 06:47 AM
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I wouldn't say red, more like yellow, but not a dealbreaker depending on management and severity. I haven't had much experience dating people with mental illness but I do have, and have had, people in my life affected so I can't say never.
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  #17  
Old 08-17-2012, 07:40 AM
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Before, I would have never thought so. And I've had a tendency to be drawn to people who have issues (likely because I relate although I haven't been diagnosed with anything).

But. I have started to think about this quite a bit... Thought about how neither of my partners has any mental health problems and how neither of them can really relate on personal level to some stuff that feels normal to me (though they can understand it).... and how it is actually probably a good and healthy for me to have partnerships with healthy people.

So, I don't know if having issues, whether diagnosed or not, is a dealbreaker... maybe it is, or maybe it should be.
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  #18  
Old 08-17-2012, 01:48 PM
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To me it is 100% about functionality.

I live with one female who has a confirmed diagnosis of DID. The other has a confirmed diagnosis of BPD.

These are pretty serious illnesses, however both my partners are fully functional and able to have loving and lasting relationships, full time jobs, go to school, raise children, etc.... Both have dealt with this through countless years of therapy before and during my time with them.

Things are more stable now for us then they were ever when we were apart.

Granted I am NOT a caretaker and have no desire to be one, but working with and around mental illnesses is doable for me, and having a love who has DID is almost like a poly relationship in itself.
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  #19  
Old 08-17-2012, 05:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onceuponadream View Post
Granted I am NOT a caretaker and have no desire to be one, but working with and around mental illnesses is doable for me, and having a love who has DID is almost like a poly relationship in itself.
I think this is partly where I'm coming from, too, when it comes to who I'll get involved with. I don't want to be my partner's second mom. I don't want to be my partner's carer from the start. Adults are responsible for themselves in my world; unless I am family, I have no obligation to fill a familial role. I get to pick who becomes family and who gets my concern and care.

Functionality really is key.
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  #20  
Old 08-17-2012, 09:21 PM
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No, it wouldn't be for me. Redflags for me are more about things like how someone treats animals, their kids, other partners, their parents, whether or not they learn and grow from their experiences and move foreward from them, how much I find their energy fulfills mine or takes it away from me etc. Sometimes people with mental health issues fit the bill for me, sometimes they don't.
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