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  #361  
Old 08-17-2012, 08:12 AM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Default what my friend told me this morning

I can participate in other peoples lives but I don't have to go and save them. A little nudge there, a thought here.
If they choose to continue being self - destructive, no amount of tea in China is going to save them from their own destruction. It's sometimes hard but I've had to let them do what they do out of respect for their journey.
Sometimes it's enough when I deal with my own shit first.
Often enough if I just leave them well alone, they miraculously recover, or go into some form of self recovery. All this with the price of just paying attention to me.
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"Resentment destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stems the root of our spiritual disease."

"In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper - list people, institutions and principles with whom you are angry. Ask yourself why you are angry."

"In most cases it was found out that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships, including sex, were hurt or threatened. We were sore, burnt-up." Alcoholics Anonymous, 64-65.
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  #362  
Old 08-17-2012, 10:50 PM
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Arrowbound Arrowbound is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
I can participate in other peoples lives but I don't have to go and save them. A little nudge there, a thought here.
If they choose to continue being self - destructive, no amount of tea in China is going to save them from their own destruction. It's sometimes hard but I've had to let them do what they do out of respect for their journey.
YES YES YES

I've learned this the hard way on more than one occasion and after feeling of being drained and hung out to dry... no more. I have to deal with my own shit. So does everybody else. I can only do so much, I'm only one person, and I refuse to feel bad about it.

Good on you.
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  #363  
Old 08-18-2012, 11:47 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is online now
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Yup, that's a really good and important insight.
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The major players. Me, under-30 bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 3+ years. Clay, new boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/"it's complicated."
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. June and Royce, Izzy's partners.
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  #364  
Old 08-20-2012, 06:02 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Default My sponsor on facing the rainy days

"The journey is mine. I empower myself as a woman and as a spiritual being. No matter who I am."

"If I listen rightly to my inner workings, in time, my spirit will speak the truth."

"I must stop believing all those past reviews, irrespective from whom they came from whom they came from, and most of all, my self-taught self-disliking of me."
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"Resentment destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stems the root of our spiritual disease."

"In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper - list people, institutions and principles with whom you are angry. Ask yourself why you are angry."

"In most cases it was found out that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships, including sex, were hurt or threatened. We were sore, burnt-up." Alcoholics Anonymous, 64-65.
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  #365  
Old 01-14-2013, 11:01 AM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Default There and back again

It's been a while since my last post here, but don't think I've forgotten you guys!

In the meanwhile I've been diagnosed with bipolar type 1. I guess there are worse diagnoses.

I'll probably not be updating terribly often, since at the moment I'm single and dreaming of a nice monogamous relationship for a change, or going solo poly.
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"Resentment destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stems the root of our spiritual disease."

"In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper - list people, institutions and principles with whom you are angry. Ask yourself why you are angry."

"In most cases it was found out that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships, including sex, were hurt or threatened. We were sore, burnt-up." Alcoholics Anonymous, 64-65.
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  #366  
Old 01-17-2013, 06:03 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Nice to hear from you again. Glad to hear your getting things sorted out.
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  #367  
Old 01-18-2013, 01:59 AM
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Arrowbound Arrowbound is offline
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Glad you've arrived at some conclusions, and will able to work with them as you move forward, now that you know what the issues are.

Nice to see you again!
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