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Old 08-16-2012, 06:50 PM
BlueDragonfly BlueDragonfly is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: MA
Posts: 21
Default Stuck at a stand still

Hey everyone!

I just wanted to get some advice on communicating with my husband. A few months ago I came out to him that I am poly (he is mono) and in hindsight it strengthened our relationship. We really started opening up and having honest conversations, I felt totally connected to him.. even though it was rough at times, it was great.

Flash forward to now. I feel like it's all been swept under the rug and we've just gone back to doing what we have always been doing. Not moving forward and my feelings are, quite frankly, getting ignored.

I have tried to get him to open up again but he just seems shut down and doesn't take it seriously. I understand he is mono and I told him that I wouldn't change him for the world but I'd like it if he could at least try to understand me. I have to, at the time being, basically not be who I am and I told him that I love him and I am willing to do that for him right now. But I told him that I honestly can't do it forever and that we need to continue to talk about it. Even if it is finding a happy medium and just to see how he feels now.

I get that he doesn't get why I'd be so happy to see him with another person and still feel 100% loved by him. I just feel like we had the 'big' conversation and then that was it.

I am not sure how to approach him about it anymore. I've approached him calmly, asked what's on his mind and I just get the good old brick wall routine that he always used to pull.

How do I get him to open up again? I feel like I am alone in our relationship (nothing to do with poly, just in general) because he just shuts me out. I want to work on our relationship first and foremost and I just feel like I can't do that.

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