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Old 07-31-2012, 03:44 PM
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LadyRebecca LadyRebecca is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Sioux City, IA
Posts: 1
Default LadyRebecca summarized

My husband and I have been married for almost 11 years. We have an 8 year old daughter. We've been theoretically open for about 4 or 5 years, what I like to call arm-chair-poly. My husband has been in a long distance emotionally intimate relationship for about 4 with the knowledge that when we got back to the States (we lived overseas for those years) their relationship would become a physically sexual relationship. So upon our arrival back in the States, she offically became our first "other." We are a V with my husband in the middle. She is wonderful and I love her but am not sexually attracted to her.

I honestly don't know how to define my sexuality. I am primarily hetero but I think that the female body is beautiful and desire worthy. I love boobs and I think kissing a woman's face (no stubble) would be amazing. However, if it goes any farther than that, I loose interest pretty quickly. A friend said I was a "boobisexual." That's probably as good a description as any.

I think bi-curious would be the best way to describe my husband. Or he'd be bi for the right guy, might be a better way of putting it. Since I am currently fascinated with the idea of US having a boyfriend, that works for me. Right now, in the midst of NRE (my diagnosis, not his), he feels like serious relationships with two women is enough for him. He's not opposed to more casual encounters but he's not looking either.

His girlfriend is bi-sexual and has expressed intrest in me but is not pushy about it. She's not sure if she's poly or not.

We are out to my sister and some friends who are long distance. Some family suspects but are too repressed to ask actual questions. His gf lives in a small town where there could be very real consequences to coming out (though ironically, she just has one boyfriend so what the hell's the problem?). My husband and I are more willing to be out here in our larger city but it will cause issues with my parents and extended family. Not sure yet how much backlash I'm willing to deal with. But I'm also shit at keeping secrets so I'm working on being ready for maximum shit storm.
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Old 08-03-2012, 03:30 PM
HBB131 HBB131 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 2
Default Novice Introduction

Hi there. I am a 42 year old bisexual woman in Colorado. I met an amazing married couple a year ago and our 'fun' times eventually became the real deal. Love. We are all new to the polyfidelitous triad relationship. I am trying to read everything that I can with respect to our relationship to learn from others' wisdom regarding seemingly simple matters such as communication.
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Old 08-07-2012, 02:15 AM
Keylla75 Keylla75 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Spring texas
Posts: 1
Default Just us!

Me and my husband, have been together for17 years. At one time we had a live in girl friend. Well she wasn't able to be in the relationship and we just haven't looked since. The kids are getting older and I miss having our third it just felt so right to have that amount of love in our home. The only thing is I'm older now and I'm not sure how to go about finding someone. She kinda fell in our laps. So i'm here to get advice on how to get out there and find the other person or persons to share life and love with us.
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Old 08-10-2012, 04:27 AM
2polyWives 2polyWives is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: BayArea CA
Posts: 2

I enjoyed reading your post. Sounds to me like you are open minded. Awesome start. Best of luck.
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Old 08-10-2012, 04:18 PM
raquel1962 raquel1962 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: fl
Posts: 2
Default new to poly lifestyle

i am the third in a poly relationship. my couple has been together over 40 years. the three of us for going on 4 years. we were all involved in the swing lifestyle prior to meeting (is how we met) and continue to be, separately and together. this has become a very committed long term relationship that none of us were actually looking for. but it works for us for the most part.

being new to it and as the third has presented some challenges and i'm hoping finding more people in this or similar situations might help me to understand the dynamics and the options for surpassing the challenges.
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Old 08-15-2012, 03:17 AM
thinkinboutpoly thinkinboutpoly is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 9
Post New to the lifestyle

Hi my husband and i are new to the lifestyle. we have talked about it since we reunited before we got married. that was over 2 years ago. now we are looking for the next step. i read that someone read books, can anyone tell me where to look
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Old 08-23-2012, 05:59 PM
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Tise Tise is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Northwesten WA
Posts: 19
Default Just Tise

I'm Tise, 29, single(ish) mother of two little girls.
I am defiantly Pan-sexual. I don't know how to describe my current relationship status. I have lovers who come and go as they please I suppose. "X" introduced me to the Poly lifestyle, and I'm trying to figure out where I fit. I'm starting to learn that being Poly is just as personal as how my clothing fits or my spirituality.
I'm not here to meet Chicks, or Guys or anything, I'm here to try to learn.
Be blessed
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Old 08-24-2012, 09:23 PM
Drifter Drifter is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 10
Default A man at large in a very strange world

I am a man, mid thirties, now living in the UK as a travelling storyteller leather worker, festival rigger, performer, juggling teacher, mobile cafe manager and general vagabond. I like old things and belive that many of the old ways of living hold valuable lessons for this age of environmentally desasterous post industrial capitalist mess. Friends call me a luddite hobbit-like victorian highwayman. This is a fairly accurate description as it goes.

How I came to this situation from a being very conventional (conservative?) suburban Liberal Arts student is a much longer story. Do ask if you are interested.

I am married, though estranged, and this estrangement is what led me to the consept of polyamoury and a general questioning of the nature of relationships. Currently I have a very close loving sexually intimate frendship with a beautiful supportive and surprising women. I am blessed to share loving friendships with several other people on a mostly non sexual basis, though this state can and does constantly shift.

Though not new to the concept of polyamoury, I am limited in experience and am looking to learn and share with people on all levels.
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Old 09-03-2012, 05:48 PM
JMJP JMJP is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3
Default A Unicorn?

Hello all. We just joined and would like to introduce ourselves.

This account and related email address is actually used only for poly related things for 4 people. We are all brand new as polyamorous. Brand new as in "a month ago". (We've all known and been at least casually friendly with polyamorous folks in the past so the while concept isn't entirely new considering it a personal option *is*.)

Also, we're pretty firmly in the closet right now at least until we figure out our relationship, so we're not using real names.

We are two couples, James & Mary and John (me) & Trish. Each couple met young and have a very strong bond. We've been married to our respective spouses for well over 10 years, have kids, etc.

We've been friends for a while and we all knew there was a deeper connection and wanted to develop a closer friendship. A bit over a month ago Mary and Trish were having a frank conversation about sex drive and sexual fantasies and Mary brought up the idea that the four of us could be sexually compatible. None of us really wanted to "swing" (defined as "casual and fairly anonymous sex") but were interested in experimenting with friends. So, we got together for a night of friendly sex, started to realize just how completely compatible we are and WHAM! We weren't expecting the emotion and intensity. "Friendly sex" turned in to "what the hell is this emotion? This is awesome!". A week later we were discovering and admitting that this looks a lot like polyamory.

Mary is bi but (I think) prefers men -- at least she doesn't want to give men up. Trish is still trying to figure it out (she's at least hetroflexible). James and I have no sexual interest in each other but feel a strong bond between us. Trish is really connecting with James and I am with Mary but we feel that this compliments our primary paring, not replaces it. We've been really enjoying the connection (emotional and sexual) that we've been forming between all four of us. We don't date separately, we go all together. We're not interested in anyone outside of our quad -- we're allowing a loving and romantic relationship to grow, but we're really not sure what that will end up looking like.

We've been avidly reading what we can while still recognizing that we're making things up as we go along. A lot of what we read in other sources is about triads or dating outside the primary relationship. While there are interesting lessons there, neither of these seems particularly applicable to us. We're hungry to hear of other experiences similar to ours, books, links, articles, whatever. We're reading "The Ethical Slut" and looking for other ways to get information.

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Old 09-04-2012, 05:59 AM
seacucumber seacucumber is offline
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 8

I'm a 22 year old woman, my husband and I have been married for four years and we have a two year old son. We love each other and are very happy. We have a close mutual friend who we've been friends with for many years, he's our son's godfather, he is considered part of our family and I love him. I love him more (and differently) than I probably should as just a friend, at least from a monogamous view point.

I've talked with my husband about my feelings and thoughts about polyamory and my attraction to our friend and he is thinking over his response. Waiting to hear what he has to say is so hard. It's been nearly a week now.

So, I'm here to talk about the possiblity of changing the nature of our relationship and meeting like other minded people.... because everyone else I've tried to talk to about it has been quite offended about the whole idea.

I know that even if my husband agrees that there is a good chance that our friend won't be interested but I feel like if I don't take a chance I will forever regret it.
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