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Old 05-31-2009, 11:56 PM
Paula Paula is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Johnstown, PA
Posts: 4
Default We are new to polyamory, guidance please

Hello Everyone, I have a story to tell and have been longing to tell it. And I welcome oh so very welcome anyone who can guide me and my husband on our new journey.
We are new to polyamory. I am a Social Worker and a MSW/counseling student. My story begins about two years ago when in a marriage and family counseling class I was being taught about marriage, couples, divorce, step families, extended famiies, and bare just barely the gay and leabian lifestyles. I realized no text book nor any professor can teach/taught about the alternate love/lifestyles. For example open marriages, swinging lifestyle, Polyamory etc... So began to do my own research. I fell in love with Polyamory, the concept, the premise. I began to write my papers and focus towards poly. My husband at the time completely monogamous thought I was nuts. I love the belief. and any where along my way any one please correct me if i'm wrong along my way here. Poly seems to be broad from loving friendships to loving committed intimate relationships. And what, there are something like 6 billion people on the planet and I don't think any one has a right to dictate who someone can and cannot love, weather multiple or one love. So after two years of my husband hearing me talk about Poly, asks if I like to open up our marriage, of course I said yes. However, Open seems too recreational for us. we are looking for long lasting, friendships, relationships, and eventually once we establish these friendships intimacy, depends on what particular relationship but yes i'm sure intimacy. and I have several questions I have been so so longingly have answered please oh please I need guidance.Ok some questions. Such as if your married or a primary couple, how do you keep you marriage and primary relationship strong? How do you still remain the center i should say? How do you keep the secondary (or more) relatonship strong? Married or primary couples do you have rules for your partner like when they are getting to know someone new like if your not in a relationship with a couple, such as taking the time to get to know someone before you are intimate with them, or sharing details about when you were alone with your secondary with your primary? and especually at first what about jealousey? how do you combat that, coming from a monogamous relationship into a Poly one especually at first i'm thinking jealousey wuld play a factor it is after a natural human emotion? And how do you meet other people weather us being married and wanting to meet a one to shar ourselves with seperately, or us meeting a couple together. how do we meet realpeople. We under no circumstances are looking for recreational sex, we want to bond, friendships, lasting relationships, yes intimacy. Not one one night stands. Anyone open to the challenge of guiding Newbees Please Help your always welcome
Thank You
~Paula~
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