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Old 12-08-2009, 04:18 PM
krummi krummi is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Central Maine
Posts: 3
Default Greetings


I'm a married man in my mid 40's. I've been married for eight years. I'm not really sure what's going on. Am I having some kind of midlife crisis? The seven year itch? I don't know.

I've had this restless (for lack of a better word) feeling for a couple of years now, and in order to try figure out what I've been feeling I did what anyone these days would do: I Googled it! Maybe the "interwebz" isn't the best source of good, solid information, but boy, did I find a lot of information! I seriously considered cheating on my wife, but the bottom line was that I couldn't bring myself to do that to her. I also realized that I wasn't just looking for sex. (Just a bit more background here: From all outward appearances, my wife and I are happily married. Unfortunately our sex life is almost non-existent (I have a fairly high sex drive), but we get along very well, and otherwise have a good relationship.) I started thinking along the line of "Why can't I have a girlfriend as well as a wife?" Which is pretty much what lead me to reading about polyamory. The more I read, the more intrigued I became. I've picked up a few books on polyamory, and am reading through them. The more I read the more I feel that polyamory resonates with my outlook on life.

OK, that's all fine and well, but what about my wife. Me declaring myself poly may make me feel better, and I'm better able to understand my own feelings, but that's only half (or maybe less) the battle. I can't even imagine the can of worms I'd be opening by starting this discussion with her. No, actually, I can imagine it, and it scares the crap out of me. The crucial, all important core of polyamory seems to me to be open and honest communication. Without that it hasn't a chance of working. So, I feel that's where I need to start. Perhaps I can start by opening up some more (non threatening - to her) lines of communication.

Sorry I've rambled on so long. If anyone is still with me, I'd love to hear what you think or might have to say.

Thank you for your time.

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