So i am new to the poly world and it is something i have been interested in experiencing for a while now. I recently have entered into a mans life who has a pretty complication situation on his hands. He is married (separated, soon to be divorced) and has a woman on the side whom hes been cheating on his wife with for the past 7 years. His wife and he were mono. The woman he is with now, he is in love with, but they are not in any official relationship because she lives with her baby's father and she is not ready to leave the baby's father for him right now. One of those stay together for the kids kind of thing. So now he has brought me into the mix. We have a very sexual relationship. It was supposed to be friends with benefits but now we have some feelings involved. I have falleb in love with him. He always tells me how he likes me so much but cant love me because he loves this mother woman. I am okay with him not loving me back. I am working on unselfish love and it does not hurt me that he loves her and not me. I explained i am interested in polyamory. He said he doesnt like the idea, he only wants to be with one person. He said its fine if i see other people, because i told him its only fair because of his situation. His wife doesnt know about me or the other woman, and the other woman knows he is interested in me and told him he can do what he wants because they are not in a committed relationship.
The whole thing is crazy. I want to see other people so that i am not so focused on him. Because right now even tho we have not said it, it feels like we are in a relationship. We see each other every day and talk and text all day. Im happy with the situation and i dont mind the fact that he loves her and not me. I also am okay with the fact that he will eventually end things with me to be in a mono relationship with her. I just enjoy the time we spend together even though i know its not going to last. I just think i need to be more involved with other people, without ending the relationship and love i have for him. Its just hard to find people who are into the poly thing. I dont know many people who have that lifestyle. I guess ijust dont know where to go from here.