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Old 08-07-2012, 03:13 AM
dragonflysky dragonflysky is offline
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Originally Posted by DustimusPrime View Post
........ I think she just assumed that anyone I'd meet would be friends with us as a couple first. But I dunno how easy that will be?
I think this is the issue that needs to be clarified between the two of you to start with.
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Old 08-07-2012, 08:40 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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I like to meet once for coffee or a drink, meet twice to see if there is a reason to meet more (longer date) and then they meet my live in partners. Sometimes I get them to pick me up and have a brief meet up at the door. After that we tend to do a group thing so that everyone can talk. I have four partners and a son, I like to make sure everyone fits and that everyone is comfy with each other... After that the intimacy is negotiated. Sometimes it changes up a little, but that's the way I have rolled for many years now.
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Old 08-07-2012, 10:35 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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RP-you just rock.
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Old 08-08-2012, 06:28 AM
turtleHeart turtleHeart is offline
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Ginko happily skips the first date so she can save her time for something else, but likes to pop in briefly if there's a 2nd or 3rd date just to see if she likes them and vice versa. We'd want to meet anyone before things got serious to make sure we all fit well together, even though the person would likely only be seeing one of us romantically.

I'd feel odd dating someone that discouraged communication with their other partners as I'd want confirmation that everything was okay.
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Old 08-08-2012, 04:21 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by DustimusPrime View Post
My fiance thinks right off the bat should be natural and acceptable to start hanging out as a group of three.
Ugh. I wouldn't want to meet a guy's partner before I've determined whether or not I am even interested. It would feel too much like an audition. If I want proof that she consents to his dating others, I'd be fine with an email or phone call from her, or some other proof like her online dating profile.

Also: why does she want to hang out as a group of three? Where did she get the idea that that was supposed to happen? Are you looking for a gf for her as well? If you're dating separately, date separately.

Introduce them when it feels like there is potential for something to develop, if you think you want to continue seeing these woman. Also ask when they would feel comfortable to meet her. Sometimes an introductory email is enough of a "meeting." Your fiancée (you are the fiance, she is the fiancée) doesn't need to befriend them. Although some of your new love interests might like to, it is not required that metamours get along and become chummy. All that's needed is polite, respectful acknowledgement. If she is having a fit about this, you both need to sit down and come to some agreement on this point that feels comfy and natural for both of you.
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