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Old 08-07-2012, 11:12 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
. . . if her "Dom" can't prioritize and respect the responsibilities she has as a mother and a wife-they aren't doing their freaking job and therefore are not a functional, respectable or reasonable Dom.
Yes, but what can anyone do about it? You can't really sue him, if it was all consensual. This is my issue with D/s and these kinds of "contracts" when someone goes looking for a Dom, finds one, and in all their starry-eyed eagerness, gets into it with someone who's basically an unethical motherfucker who likes to be in control. Doms don't need to undergo any training, psychological testing, or test of their ethics, and they never seem to come under scrutiny for anything they do. Any asshole can say they are a good Dom, and newbies wouldn't really know if the Dom has any sense or respect for the whole dynamic unless or until it's too late, and then all anyone can do is a rescue mission. Very sad, and I hope it doesn't come to that for the OP. It seems that intervention is needed NOW, and I think Redpepper is onto something.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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