|
#11
08-05-2012, 03:39 PM
|
||||
|
||||
Sorry this had to happen to you - the guy was being a total jerk, and being drunk is absolutely no excuse - drunk people tend to do what's in their hearts - the alcohol just turns off their internal filters....
Yes, people misunderstand all the time what poly means - they apply their own standards to it and basically stop listening. Many assume that we are swingers, and that this is just a fancy name for it. One woman, who I had always felt attracted to, even after we explained the difference of what poly was and how it differed from swinging, pursued me (it turned out later) without her husband's knowledge, only for sex. That was messy, because I was better friends with her husband than me. That kind of ended the friendship with him, which I was VERY disappointed about. Since then I have learned that she has informed other friends of ours that she can confirm that I am definitely a swinger. Of course, they have never bothered actually mentioning is to me/us - but the gossip flew for a while. Others mistrust the stated reason of why we are telling them, assuming that the reason is that one of us wants to have sex with one of them, or are in some ways interested in them. Why does that have to be the only reason? We have had many of our long-established friends distance themselves from us because we talked with them about this.
__________________
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
http://www.thebirdcage.org/ "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb 
|
|
#12
08-06-2012, 04:21 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
Sorry, I need to stop on that one before I get myself triggered. But again, SO sorry this type experience fell on you, and the others reporting same/similar. *hugs* nobody -- man or woman -- deserves shoddy treatment. People are not THINGS. They are PERSONS. It's just... ugh. Ugh. Yuck!  GG
__________________
GalaGirl at this time = closed married polyship of 2 with DH. Chronic patient = fuzzy brain at times. (If I make no sense in a post, just PM me and I'll happily try to clarify it later.)
|
|
#13
08-06-2012, 07:29 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Ugh.
Knee to nuts. End friendship. Do not tolerate his assholery ever again. Tell him you won't stay in touch with him or have anything to do with him because he assaulted you. Do not get into a convo if he starts to argue about it - state your case and walk away. Unfortunately, group sex and having no boundaries are what many in the general public think polyamory is. I remember once having a conversation with a guy I had met in a bar. When I mentioned polyamory, he was all, "oh that's so cool" and then he started talking about threesomes and how much he digs bisexual women. I told him I am straight and not into group sex, that I want multiple relationships with men, and a look of horror and disgust came over him. I saw that, in his eyes, any woman who wants more than one penis in her life is nothing but a trashy whore. I no longer use the word polyamory anymore. I talk about exclusivity/non-exclusivity, developing loving relationships, and commitment to honesty, but I stay away from the word polyamory just because of the misconceptions out there. I'm sorry this happened to you. At least now you are prepared for the next dirtbag who tries something like that. Remember, knee to nuts.
__________________
. Independent solo polyamorist seeking lover-friends willing to invest in friendship, companionship, and love, but without a need for partnership. Never confuse commitment with exclusivity, love with ownership, nor sex with intimacy! For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
|
 |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
