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Old 08-05-2012, 10:01 PM
Polly73's Avatar
Polly73 Polly73 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Scandinavia
Posts: 3
Default "Fraternal polyamory"?

I have so many questions that I don't know where to start

So... well, my husband and I have been discussing bringing a second man into our marriage, his brother. Just so no one will jump to conclusions, this would NOT be incestuous in any way shape or form. Originally he started talking about bringing in a third partner and the idea sounded awful to me (brought up believing mono was the only way etc.). At some point I said something like; "well if I could clone you and somehow have you times two it wouldn't be such a crazy idea to me"
So a few weeks later he said; well what about my brother? We sort of look the same and in many ways we think alike and I trust him. So talking for a few months now, this idea has become quite appealing to me. It's still just an idea though and we want to be very very VERY careful. Every single detail needs to be discussed - we do NOT want to lose our marriage. The reason it has become appealing is mostly because I know I can relax and trust his brother. But then there's the notion that two brothers sharing a wife/gf is probably not very common..... or is it? From what I've read online, I know this is common in Nepal and Tibet for a lot of reasons but I still haven't found a single story about this sort of thing here in Europe or N-America. I'm sure there have to be some out there though right?

My husband is not into the idea of seeking out another female to have a relationship with. I'm not bi and not interested in women at all. But having the attention of my husband AND his brother? Well, what can I say.... not that my husband isn't enough for me, he is. And this wouldn't be a live-in situation either. So from what I'm seeing here - he would be a mono partner and I would be a poly partner. It would be a "V" with me being the hinge (still learning the terms).

So on to my questions:

1) For my husband, he claims he would just feel compersion (that's the right term right?) in seeing me be happy with his brother. How realistic is this notion? Not just considering seeing me with another man but with his brother no less? Isn't that alone a minefield? The last thing I want is to cause difficulties between the two of them.

2) What is it generally like for "the secondary"? I absolutely do NOT want anyone to feel neglected or "feel secondary" although my husband always comes first. The bond I have with him is very deep and I can't imagine having such a deep bond with anyone else.... at least not at this time.

3) Do you guys know of any stories about two brothers, one woman type of polyamorous relationships out there? Doesn't matter if they're success stories or not, we would just like to read about all possible outcomes and pitfalls.

Anyway.... I'm glad to have found this place and will continue reading.
All the best to everyone

Last edited by Polly73; 08-05-2012 at 10:52 PM.
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brothers, family

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