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Old 08-03-2012, 02:55 AM
strixish strixish is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 50

My theory (and YMMV) is that NRE is not so much about the person you're with, as it is about your infatuation with yourself. You are suddenly attractive to someone, and loveable, and your self esteem shoots through the roof! But you've gotta get that fix, get that mutual admiration society started, and so you feel desperate for contact, in person, by email, by phone, whatever, just some affirmation that you are as wonderful as you have discovered that you are.

I'm not talking about solid, healthy self esteem, though, and doing things to consciously focus on healthy self esteem can help you feel less desperate for the new person.

I believe that NRE fades as you really get to know them, as you start to let yourself see them as complex people (with aspects you like and aspects you don't), and not just as a mirror for yourself.

That's my theory, anyway.
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Old 08-16-2012, 04:53 AM
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Satisfiction Satisfiction is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 29

Originally Posted by strixish View Post
My theory (and YMMV) is that NRE is not so much about the person you're with, as it is about your infatuation with yourself...

That's my theory, anyway.
Wow strixish, that's a great perspective. I never thought of it like that before, but I think that's definitely a huge contributing factor to NRE
Don't fight against the existing model, create a new model that makes the old model obsolete.
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Old 08-28-2012, 11:22 AM
thisis thisis is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 6

Just an update to thank everyone for their responses. After two months, things have settled down to a much more positive glowy feeling! I think most of the negativity was actually limerance (from what I understand of the term) and as we've got closer we have become more relaxed with each other and I've become less nervous.

The addictive behaviour is still there, but it feels more like an excited anticipation than enforced abstinence, which is a Good Thing.
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anxiety, nre

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