Hoping this is the right place to look
Please forgive me if this rambles. Let's just preface this by saying that my degree is not in English and please know that if I misuse any terms, it's unintentional... Obviously I'm confused by the turns my life, and relationship, are taking - and I'm here trying to figure things in a forum that, from what I've seen, is supportive even when trying to get someone to take a hard look at themself.
I'm currently in the second incarnation of a relationship with E. We were together previously and while we didn't work out that time - we reconnected as friends while in other (mono) relationships. Obviously, those didn't quite work out and we've decided that, with a few changes including a much enhanced focus on communication, we want to be together. Both of us have always had an open view on life, including sexuality. His viewpoint has always been that we'll be as monogamous or open as I want to be - that he loves me and wants me to be happy. Of course, considering we met while he was dating someone I knew (and occasionally slept with) - I wasn't all that surprised. My thoughts when we decided last Nov. to live together was that we would keep it monogamous since our attempt to have an "open" relationship up didn't work the first time around. During these last 4 months, however, I have realized that I'm being someone that I'm not completely comfortable being. E has been very supportive, making sure that I'm as comfortable as I can be - even though he's as much a newbie at all this as I am! I'm unsure of my footing right now and I'm not sure if I'm asking myself and/or E the right questions.