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Old 07-30-2012, 12:42 PM
persephone persephone is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 68
Default He's a kid in the candy store, but can he really follow through?

My primary partner, D, has two lovers, me and his brand-new secondary partner C. He is interested in starting a sexual relationship with someone else, R. The problem is that D isn't very interested in sex to begin with most of the time. He has a fairly low libido and suffers from frequent erectile dysfunction. I am frustrated much of the time over this issue and try to deal with it as best I can. C doesn't get much opportunity to be sexually intimate with D, and so far she seems happy, but they are a new relationship and have only been together sexually a couple of times (plus C is married to a man who has a very high libido and I know she isn't hard up for sex, ever, unlike me.)

My feeling is that D should keep R as a platonic friend and concentrate on his relationships with me and with C, especially since his relationship with C is only about a month old and I know she wants more time with him than she has had so far. I had hoped that C would rev D up a bit sexually, but so far I haven't seen this. In fact, she might be having the opposite effect on him, but it's too early to tell for sure. A past partner of his didn't rev him up either.

I don't believe D would have started anything new right now, but R had put their potential relationship on hold so she could work through some personal stuff, and (maybe now that she has seen him with C), she is suddenly interested again and wants to finally pursue things with him.

D promised me a while back that he wouldn't pursue more than one additional relationship at a time, and I am tempted to hold him to this. I would feel bad about it because he really likes R, but he doesn't meet my sexual needs even without C in the picture, and I can't even imagine what might happen to our sex life with yet another person wanting sex from him.

Yes, I do have other partners, a LDR whom I can only see a few times a year, and a local lover who doesn't often get a chance to see me, plus finding private space for intimacy with the local one can be very difficult. I don't really want to consider adding a fourth partner, I'm very happily in love with the three that I have and don't feel that I have much to give emotionally to a fourth sweetie, but at times I am one hard up woman, even with three lovers. It's pretty surreal when I take a step back from it.
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