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  #51  
Old 07-16-2012, 07:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenMom View Post
I have a date tonight! TONIGHT!
Yippeee! Have fun! Steal a kiss if the opportunity presents itself.
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  #52  
Old 07-17-2012, 01:37 PM
GreenMom GreenMom is offline
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The date went okay. There was no kiss stealing - I'm not generally that bold on a first date (maybe I should be? heh). To me the first date with someone off the internet is generally to make sure they are who they have said they are, and I am confident in that. We got coffee and chatted for a couple hours. Conversation went easily along, there weren't any major things we disagreed on (politics, religion, etc). I'm unsure if this will be a dating thing, or a friends thing.

I'm not very practiced at dating. Three of my four "significant" relationships have all happened after there were months of chatting online and on phone, so by the time a face to face happened, there were already some sort of feelings there, and the romance blossomed easily and without effort. The "fourth" - Marty - we'd been chatting online with a couple video chats for a couple weeks before we met, we had one family get together to make sure we were who we said we were, and then on our first solo date, spent about five hours wandering around and talking, then snuggled during a movie, which led to our first kiss, which over the next couple weeks continued to escalate romantically/sexually.

The woman I saw last night - I think I will call her Pink, heh - I literally had just sent her an initial email yesterday morning. We emailed back and forth all morning/early afternoon so I impulsively asked her out, and we determined we were both free last night, so, yeah. It is the first time I've gone on a date without already having such a "feel" for the person from hours and hours of online and/or phone chatting and already having affectionate feelings in place. So while I enjoyed the conversation, managed to flirt a bit, and would like to see her again - I'm just not certain where things go from here.
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  #53  
Old 07-18-2012, 11:11 PM
GreenMom GreenMom is offline
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I am my own primary. I am my own primary. I am my own primary. I am my own primary. I am my own primary. I am my own primary. I am my own primary. I am my own primary. I am my own primary. I am my own primary. I am my own primary. I am my own primary. I am my own primary.
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  #54  
Old 07-19-2012, 04:21 AM
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That's the right spirit. There is nothing much I can add in general, I just wanted you to know, that I am sorry for all those hardships you recently encountered. Take care.
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  #55  
Old 07-24-2012, 07:26 PM
GreenMom GreenMom is offline
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Saw Marty last Sunday for the first time in far too long, thanks to the insanity of summer and such. It was a decent afternoon/evening. I took my son over to play with his son. We were able to chat and game a bit around that, but a lot of the focus was on watching the kiddos. After Kitty got home from work, we all ate/watched a movie, then they did some cleaning and such while I made sure the boys didn't break themselves or anything else. Marty was still feeling very poorly so I kept my distance, but oh, it was hard. Being around him in person again after so long reminded me of just how incredibly attractive I find him. I'm hoping that this Weds our date night happens, and I do not plan to take my kiddo. I don't want much, just a quiet evening watching a movie and snuggling. I know Kitty and their son will be home so it's not like we'd have any privacy anyway.

Also still work in progress on the whole "I am my own primary" thing. That's a whole lot easier said than done, isn't it? I just miss Marty so much and wish I knew what to do to bridge this distance that's been growing. I really want to make it work. I'm trying to take more of the "lover-friends" approach, and wrap my brain around that. Being more independent, not worrying immediately "oh no, he's just not into me because of (insert stupid reasoning from my depressed brain)". I'm trying the whole "if you love someone let them go" etc etc insofar as backing off these past couple months and trying to give him the space he has needed, I just hope as the next couple weeks pack and he gets re-used to being on the meds again, that things level out and some of my needs can get met again.

The other work in progress is the state of my marriage. We've basically been living as roommates insofar as little to no physical affection or romance. Still haven't been able to pin down time for a talk - it's really hard with the kids and my mom, and it seems anytime we could talk one of us is sick. Friday evening is probably the next opportunity we'll have, since he works Tues & Thurs.
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  #56  
Old 07-25-2012, 01:28 AM
pocketpoly86 pocketpoly86 is offline
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GreenMom - I just wanted to send you a quick thank you - your blog as helped me a lot. I've been reading your entries (and chanting, I am my own primary along with you) I appreciate your candid comments and insights! It's giving me more to think about in my own life...
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  #57  
Old 07-25-2012, 02:16 PM
GreenMom GreenMom is offline
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I'm glad my blog could help, pocket.
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  #58  
Old 07-25-2012, 06:55 PM
GreenMom GreenMom is offline
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And it is another day of chanting "I am my own primary, I am my own primary, I am my own primary" to try and stave off the feelings of worthlessness and sadness that again, Marty has a conflict for our "scheduled" time. And that the "conflict" is "wanting a quiet night after helping his mother this afternoon". Hearing things like that makes me feel like I'm this horrible inconvenience and impossible to relax with... which hurts given the fact that when we get together midweek its generally to just sack out and watch netflix or play a board game. Meh.

I am my own primary. I am my own primary. I am my own primary.
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  #59  
Old 07-25-2012, 07:59 PM
GreenMom GreenMom is offline
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To throw my readers a slightly less depressing entry.... I'm now engaged in email exchange/mild flirtation with one half of a couple in my area. I'm leery of dating a couple, but given the fact that I am not looking for any more partnerships, but more so for lover-friends (trademark nycindie, hehe), I'm not closed to the idea. He and I are hitting it off as well as folks can with just text based converastion, we have a lot in common, he is local, so I am cautiously hopeful while trying not to get as "squee maybe a new person" as I have been the past two months, since that has caused me to get disappointed way too many times.

But I can't lie. I am squee-ing a little. He kept talking to me after seeing my picture, and so far most stop talking to me once I send one, which has started to give me a bit of a complex even though I know I am not ugly.
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  #60  
Old 07-25-2012, 08:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenMom View Post
. . . given the fact that I am not looking for any more partnerships, but more so for lover-friends (trademark nycindie, hehe) . . .
I must give credit where credit is due - I got that term from Sourgirl. She talked about lover-friends in a few of her posts and I adopted it. Do a search for her posts, she has not been here in a while, but is full of wisdom, humor, and a no-nonsense approach.

Glad to see an upbeat happy outlook for you! You go girl!
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