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Old 07-21-2012, 06:54 AM
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LadyKane LadyKane is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Oregon
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For me, meeting before sex isn't a big deal. XIV is a lot more of casual sex guy than a relationship guy, (mostly because he is really really picky about who he is in romantic relationships with.... much less so who he sleeps with )
However, it would be important to me for a physical meeting to take place (unless it's an ldr.... then a phone call would suffice) before it got too serious. I have a couple reasons for that... a lot of the same already posted, (confirm they know I'm not going anywhere, that I'm not crazy, relieve fears on both sides, etc) but for me personally, I have a really good, accurate intuition about people, and I want to make sure I get semi good vibes off of them. Specifically before they spend much time around my son and at my home... but also because they will have a peace of the heart of the person I love so freaking much it's crazy, and I just want to confirm for my own sanity that they aren't demons in disguise. Nervous is fine, of course... I'm looking for creeper vibes primarily.

We don't have a veto, (except in terms of physical or emotional abuse) so even if someone gave off really gnarly vibes, I would explain to XIV what I felt, but he's a grown up and if he wants to be in a relationship with that person, that's fine, it's his call. However, I know he takes my impressions seriously, and I take his seriously as well.

I've never been in a situation quite like this before, but it is a firm line for me. Before he gets too emotionally vested (by his definition... not mine) I want to meet them. I have faith he will tell me when that time comes, and not a moment before
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My little poly family:

me- (25/pan/f/poly/Libra)
XIV- my husband (25/bi/m/poly/Taurus-Gemini cusp)
Doodle- my son (11 months little Leo baby)
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