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Old 07-18-2012, 06:41 AM
Trinity Trinity is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 12
Default How could this ever happen?

I'm still amazed by it how we ever could get in the situation where we are today.

I fell in love with my best friend; I know her for 24 years; we are best friends for 20 years now.
When I was about 15 I shared her that I'm also interested in woman, but I always ensured myself and her that I'm not interested in her. She is my best friend, feels like a sister.
I could share her my interest for other woman; and she never judged me for that. She didnt have those feelings; even not bicurious.

I know and can understand why my male partner likes her; cause he likes her for a long time now; even though he had troubles with admitting that (since we live in a society that learns you your wife gets very angry when you love another woman ).
I knew he was in love with her before we met; and I never felt myself as a replacement for what he could not get; because I know I have my own unique qualities which he likes a lot and which it makes possible we have such a steady longterm relationship.

But why have I all those feelings for my best friend now? We share parts of family-life now and I enjoy that; I know I was longing for that since I'm a mother; so that I can understand.

But I never expected I would have sex with her; and that it feels so damn good. She isnt even bisexual she says; she admitted she is bicurious however before all of this started. And this is the first time I'm with a woman sexually that it feels so good and equal; it's not aht I'm leading since I have more experience in this; we are qual to eachother and with full respect.
No third wheel; allthough my partner felt sometimes like that; but it's because he has bounderies to her and I have not (she set the bounderies to protect herself, and my partner is getting less insecure about it since we communicate a lot about it)

I read stories over here; and see a lot of that people are searching for something poly; but we fell right into it.
I don't know if I could ever with someone else. Because the part that I like is that we have such a great bond; we know eachother; shared a lot in life.
My partner and I had fantasies about a third girl when we started; he never had a desire for a treesome; but I did kindoff; but over the years I lost that fantasy; I got totally commited to my partner.
So I can understand this would ever come back.
I don't know if I'm poly; I'm not sure if I'm biseksual; I always thought that I was attracted to woman; could have intimacy with them; but not a relationship; I want a man for that; but now I have a strong feeling that I can share all of that too also with my best friend. This triad feels more complete or full or something like that.

But my best friend? Wow; I'm still amazed by it!
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