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  #11  
Old 07-17-2012, 05:46 PM
RunningMan RunningMan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post

I don't know...is there any reason to think they ARE open to poly? Any reason to think they are NOT? If it's out of the blue, well, you might want to do a different approach.
It's not completely out of the blue as I have been researching it for school for quite some time and have talked about other couples who have agreed to this. They are articles on the subject all over the house. This conversation could go either way, as we have fooled around in the past with a third person, and I have fooled around by myself (without my partner's knowledge) without too much backlash after it was found out.
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  #12  
Old 07-18-2012, 12:05 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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If it is easier to do in writing, why not?

Communication is communication -- be it verbal, written, or some other format -- video? podcast? So long as you both agree to the ground rules, however you do it is fine.

I tend to just go verbal -- but once in a great while some hard thing will make me take it to paper because my temper clouds my articulation.

I'll write it out and I'll hand it to DH to read while I wait. Then he will tell me he needs time to formulate a written response, or he will tell me if he's ready to tackle it verbally.

Sometimes he's ready to tackle it verbally but I am not ready to HEAR. I just want to see that he read it so there's no "I did not get the memo" static. And I will say "Thanks for reading. I'm not ready to talk more -- I just wanted you to receive it and let it simmer. How's a week from now for you?" and our conversation will not be about the THING, but about making the appt to set time aside to devote to discuss the thing.

We both walk away satisfied knowing it's in the simmer, and we will get to it when we get there.

In our youth we wanted to solve it NOW which led to pointless sleepless nights. We are older now, so we are more ok putting it on a "pause" and getting some decent shut eye first!

HTH!
GG
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  #13  
Old 07-18-2012, 12:32 AM
RunningMan RunningMan is offline
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The letter is written, think I put a lot of thought and love into it. Tonight before I go to bed I will email it and wait for his response. Wish me luck!
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  #14  
Old 07-18-2012, 01:10 AM
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Celticgirl Celticgirl is offline
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I wasn't nervous about talking about being bi or being poly. My boyfriend and I can talk about anything we watch porn enough to talk about 3somes and he knew my thoughts on it. I guess it wasn't a shocker I'm very straight forward with him.
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