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Old 07-17-2012, 11:04 PM
downwithduckies downwithduckies is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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Default New Relationship Issue.

First off some background I have been with A for 3 1/2 years now he opened up the relationship around a year ago. ( I say he because I was not at all happy about it but regardless I chose to stay ) Originally it was a sex only sort of arrangement, he was free to seek sexual encounters outside of the relationship, as was I but I did not have any interest at the time.

around a 1/2 a year ago he met a girl (S) they hit it off and he was interested in starting a relationship with her. Again I was not at all happy and didn't want it to happen but was overruled. Sense then I've met her and do like her as a person and have grown to have a certain level of comfort her her dating and eventually moving in with him. However they (or rather A) had issues with the kind of people that she was dating outside of their relationship, so they decided that neither of them would date anyone else for a while at least until the relationship and apparently mine and A's were more stable.

Recently I've developed feelings for a mutual (ok really A's best friend) and told A that I was interested and he replied that this friend was one of the few people that he would trust with either myself of S. We had been hanging out a lot recently and a few nights ago on impulse I decided to kiss him, just a quick peck. and apparently he likes me too (yay!) and the minute after I texted A to let him know what happened. I expected him to say something like good for you hun, or something else positive or even remotely neutral. Instead I get a response of how much I've hurt and betrayed him and how much he doesn't trust M (the friend) because we didn't give him the blow by blow of our flirting. Which escalated into this huge argument with him not being sure if he can trust me or wanting to be with me.

Apparently form his end I was supposed to take him and S not seeing other people and myself being included in that little deal. I was not aware of this at all. We never had this conversation or anything like it and apparently I was supposed to take some shit he said in passing as notice of this. Now he was a veto on anyone I want to even date, and he really doesn't want me dating M and he want's M to make a big gesture to "earn back his trust"

Now I'm frustrated to hell with all of this and I am seriously considering just leaving the relationship, I do not like all of this "protectiveness" and I don't want him controlling my ability to date like that. I was just getting comfortable with being in a polyamorous relationship and now this happens. I just don't know what to do.
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