Poly-Friendly Pagans?

[SlytherinAlumnus]

I am Pagan and honestly the Pagan community is one of the places I feel like I'm most likely to find Poly and Poly-friendly people. Probably depends on the group, though.

[Stonecrow]

I have been a pagan for quite a while, trained and initiated Gardnerian, which is, I think, one of the trads that have a tendency towards being more socially conservative. I was never personally aware of anyone within Gardnerianism who was poly, but in the greater pagan community there was at least one publicly open triad, (not sure, but I think it was a mythical unicorn!!) and several paired couples with open marriages. It was much more accepted there than in the general public. Most who do not participate feel that their reasons are their own, just as their religious beliefs are their own; they feel it's not for them, but don't think of it as 'wrong' or morally at issue. I also agree that there is a community of like-minded individuals that intersect and overlap (pagans,geeks, fans, historical recreation, etc.) that tend to be extremely open minded and question many of our ingrained ideas. They seem to have a higher percentage of people who are involved in a poly lifestyle, are open to going there, or at least do not have a problem with other people who do.

I live in a fairly small midwestern citie (US) and many people know that M (my poly bf) lives with me and D (his non-poly gf). A couple of our neighbors know, and most of our friends do, too. We haven't had any negative comments, at least not to our faces. Just "I've got no problem with that, whatever suits you. It's not for me, but that's ok."

I wish you well!!

[AutumnalTone]

Originally Posted by RadiantHeart

Now the pagan group we are involved in is very eclectic and they are very internally pleased that unlike most groups that tend to be dominated by singles and weighted towards female membership,

Where did you get this idea? There doesn't seem to be any particular tendency toward group demographics as far as I can tell. There also doesn't appear to be any research into such things. Why would you claim this?

This group is awesome and devoid of the usual drama and pagan politics that generally plague most groups and bring about their downfall.

And why would you make this claim? Most groups are plagued with drama and politics that bring about their downfall? Um...how many groups do you actually know about?

For those of you who are openly Poly, how do your pagan families accept your love dynamic? Are they blindly accepting? Exuberantly happy to have you? Do other couples shy away because they fear that you might take their man/woman? I’m just curious . . .

Many folks in our congregation are poly (it's an entirely Pagan congregation). Those who aren't don't seem to have any problems with those who are. In the same fashion that we don't worry about anybody's gender or color or height or weight or orientation, we don't worry about how many people somebody else in the congregation loves.

Most pagans talk of free love,

Um...says who? That certainly doesn't match my experiences, either online or in meatspace.

As pagans we examine the duality of deity and the Universe.

I don't know of any Pagan traditions that embrace duality. I know many embrace polarity--and that's something different. There are also many Pagans who don't.

Claiming a generalization about Pagans is actually quite difficult, as the term "Pagan" applies to many very different religions. It would be akin to making many generalizations about polyfolk....

[Nalani]

My family love and accept me and were present early enough into my realization that we are all in full agreement. Poly lifestyle is still not the number one choice but we are all capable of discussing any issues that come up as well as what is and isn't acceptable in the group, a few of my sisters began exploring themselves.

[Lemondrop]

All of the poly people I know face-to-face are non-Christian of some variety or another. (I consider myself Pagan, as in, don't try to label me I'll just change to irritate you.) Of the people who know I'm in a poly relationship, and accept it, there is no unifying religion or faith. I did get push-back from one Pagan, but that was because she had a negative experience with poly, and she loves me enough to let me make my own mistakes.

[Heather89]

I'm new to the poly community (in the beginning stages of a MFF triad) and to the wiccan community. I didn't realized how pagan I was until I started studying under Don Wildgrube (friend of Oberon and Morning Glory and a big part of the pagan community). I've believed these things for years without realizing that they had a name, ie paganism. I'm getting initiate by him over winter break (I'm currently in PA, he's in MO.) He pretty much introduced me to poly because he's been doing it for years and years and is helping me though this trying time of breaking into the pagan/poly communities. I do feel like most of the pagans that I've met are much more accepting of alternative lifestyles/relationships than the average person. I look forward to going to the St. Louis Pagan Picnic this year with my girl and my guy on my arm. Unfortunately, I can't do that all the time. Even there, we may get strange looks, but I feel like I can be myself in the pagan community.

[riftara]

Also poly and pagan here.

We are actually discussing right now coming out to our pagan friends here.

We decided to put it on hold until my BF is ready, just in case someone asks if I'm seeing someone else.

[UtahHopeful]

Though 'Pagan' can be associated with more open minded thoughts, it's really about the group dynamic. As pagan Vitki and Christian Minister I've seen the positive and negative playout in both groups equally. True Christians - after all - would never judge another human for the choices they would make. True Pagans should always remain openminded to the wealth of spiritual ideologies playing out across the Pagan culture. Wicca - in all its forms, Odhinism - in all its forms, and on and on - all have acceptances of sexual practice and ritual. So it becomes more about the group dynamic, and how the natural leaders lead by behavior and example. When I lead in Pagan practice I always show the importance of embracing that which is unfamiliar...how else would we gain in knowledge? As Christian I lead the same way...Christ's example was spot on - do no harm, do not judge, love unconditionally those brothers and sisters you understand the least. Always always embrace with love.
Look to the leaders of your group for clues about expected behaviors, and allow them to guide and make mistakes equally. And remain committed to your personal life choices, because those bring us the bliss of ever closer union with Divine. Isnt that what we all truthfully seek?

[sillygirl]

Originally Posted by SlytherinAlumnus

I am Pagan and honestly the Pagan community is one of the places I feel like I'm most likely to find Poly and Poly-friendly people. Probably depends on the group, though.

I'm also Pagan, and I've found this to be true.

[moonlitwish]

Originally Posted by sillygirl

I'm also Pagan, and I've found this to be true.

What she said. Although I'm estranged from the community here in CLT, and the dynamic may have changed over the past few years.