Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
  #19  
Old 07-13-2012, 08:21 PM
Ready2Fly Ready2Fly is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 45
Default

I feel the same feelings.

I have exactly zero jealousy for my wife, since I am absolutely secure in our relationship; I know that we feel the same way about poly in general and our relationship in particular: that our feelings for and sex with other people has no bearing on our relationship with each other. Our relationship isn't remotely in any danger when she has a date with someone else or goes to bed with them.

On the other hand, I have a big crush on a mono girl right now, and we do a lot of "platonic dating:" i.e., we spend all kinds of time together and share a certain intimacy without being in an official relationship beyond "friends." I know that some day she'll find the monogamous hunka burnin' love that she's looking for. When that day arrives, what she and I have now will be gone. And holy crap do I get jealous of her. Scary jealous. Because I know she is mono and our intimacy is ephemeral. It could end at any moment.

And that's jealousy, because it's fear of losing something I have. There's no one to be envious of. Although I'm sure I'll be quite envious when that dude comes along.

I was actually thinking about this recently. Mono people get all jealously bent out of shape over sex. But I can't be jealous of sex with my crush, since we have none. Poly people get jealous over time.
Reply With Quote
 

Tags
communication, compassion, compersion, emotions, envy, feelings, jealous, jealousy, monogamy, poly, polyamory, possessiveness, relationship dynamics, relationship structures, relationships, respect, self esteem, unconscious

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:11 AM.