Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #61  
Old 07-13-2012, 03:40 AM
LadyKane's Avatar
LadyKane LadyKane is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 24
Default

I relate to this very strongly. I'm a woman, but still when I send messages out, oftentimes I don't get any kind of response back. It's irritating as hell. It's frustrating when I'm messaging another girl, but it's WAY frustrating when it's a guy and they have bitched on their profile about girls who do just that. Ridiculous.

I feel for you Kyle. I hope your friday goes better than your thursday did.
__________________
My little poly family:

me- (25/pan/f/poly/Libra)
XIV- my husband (25/bi/m/poly/Taurus-Gemini cusp)
Doodle- my son (11 months little Leo baby)
Reply With Quote
  #62  
Old 07-13-2012, 05:14 PM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 284
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyKane View Post
I relate to this very strongly. I'm a woman, but still when I send messages out, oftentimes I don't get any kind of response back. It's irritating as hell. It's frustrating when I'm messaging another girl, but it's WAY frustrating when it's a guy and they have bitched on their profile about girls who do just that. Ridiculous.

I feel for you Kyle. I hope your friday goes better than your thursday did.
Freaked myself out financially so first half of today has sucked. Second half is going better. I'm glad to know that someone relates and didn't just read that as bitchy-Kyle venting on some forum.

I just want the opportunity to try the lifestyle. I haven't even gotten that yet. My wife has and it was hard for me knowing she got to experience something I've always wanted but I couldn't. I've come to terms with that but I would still like opportunity. I just need to move to the east coast or texas. Seems like that's where everyone lives lol.
__________________
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is the regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." - Sydney Smith

Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old
Reply With Quote
  #63  
Old 07-13-2012, 09:45 PM
LadyKane's Avatar
LadyKane LadyKane is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 24
Default

Right? I live in the Pac NW, and there is a decent number of people in my area... but still, not easy to meet people. My husband has a had a couple ONS, but nothing lasting....

Hahahaha, nope not bitchy-Kyle. Trust me. My only brother's name is Kyle, and I know a bitchy Kyle when I see one Sounds like some normal and expected frustration to me.

Your time will come. Probably when you least expect it, I'd imagine.
__________________
My little poly family:

me- (25/pan/f/poly/Libra)
XIV- my husband (25/bi/m/poly/Taurus-Gemini cusp)
Doodle- my son (11 months little Leo baby)
Reply With Quote
  #64  
Old 07-14-2012, 03:39 AM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 284
Default

My wife finally decided (without my asking) to join this forum! Everyone welcome Rymmare!
__________________
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is the regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." - Sydney Smith

Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old
Reply With Quote
  #65  
Old 07-14-2012, 05:05 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552
Default

Aww, yay! Welcome Rymmare!
__________________
~~~~~~~~~
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
Reply With Quote
  #66  
Old 07-14-2012, 05:23 PM
LadyKane's Avatar
LadyKane LadyKane is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 24
Default

I agree! Welcome to our lovely forum
__________________
My little poly family:

me- (25/pan/f/poly/Libra)
XIV- my husband (25/bi/m/poly/Taurus-Gemini cusp)
Doodle- my son (11 months little Leo baby)
Reply With Quote
  #67  
Old 07-15-2012, 02:04 AM
Rymmare Rymmare is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 15
Default

Haha after reading this I'm afraid everyone will think I'm just some skanky chick who wanted to sleep around (thanks for making me skanky Kyle ) haha but really, Kyle and I have talked a lot on the subject and we have very different views on what constitutes a relationship. For me sex is just sex, it's just a physical need that everyone has but when there's emotion involved that's, to me, what makes it polyamorous. So we're kind of at an impasse. I see him as being the one having a poly experience because he and A have had a connection that I haven't gotten to experience. Everything I've had with LA or even B was just a physical 'hey your cute, let's bone' type deal. And to me that's not a big thing. What I had issues with as far as him cheating on me when we we first dating was him talking with another girl, that he admittedly had feelings for, and saying things like 'well, I'm with Katie now but if that weren't the case....' for him emotional attachment isn't as big of a deal to him as it is to me. But I think that goes for most male/female couples and it stems from the basic biology in us all. Since the women are basically useless (biologically speaking) for about a year if we get pregnant it's more of a crime for us to sleep with someone else, but since we as women need the men to protect us (again biologically speaking, form like caveman needing to survive viewpoint) we don't want our men to get emotionally attached to someone else because they may choose to protect that someone else instead of us and our family. ( if that makes sense, I've had quite a bit of wine haha)
But moving on....
I've been working a lot on my insecurities and trust issues. I've been working on being more intimate (which is really my biggest problem. Crappy childhood and all that jazz) i've started learning about Buhddism and have am learning to live in the now and to LET GO. and I've also been pushing Kyle to make a move with A. As far as my own love interests goes I still talk to J but it's not anything romantic, by any means. I wouldn't mind it heading in that direction but he's very mono and I don't want to end up getting hurt when/if he decides to settle down with a nice mono chick and live out their very mono lives together *gag*. But we still talk and we get along and 'click' really well. So who knows?

And I think that should catch everyone up (and hopefully clear my name a bit, I promise I'm not as bad as Kyle likes to make me out to be ) (also him whining about no sex means we went like 48 hours without. I could give it to him 7 times a day and it wouldn't be enough)
Reply With Quote
  #68  
Old 07-15-2012, 02:05 AM
Rymmare Rymmare is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 15
Default

Also thanks for the welcome, I'm glad to be here, please take everything I say with a grain of salt....chances are there's a lot of wine influences what I say hehehe
Reply With Quote
  #69  
Old 07-15-2012, 02:08 AM
Rymmare Rymmare is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 15
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyKane View Post
I relate to this very strongly. I'm a woman, but still when I send messages out, oftentimes I don't get any kind of response back. It's irritating as hell. It's frustrating when I'm messaging another girl, but it's WAY frustrating when it's a guy and they have bitched on their profile about girls who do just that. Ridiculous.

I feel for you Kyle. I hope your friday goes better than your thursday did.
I always get just guys wanting sex and not understanding that I'm not a lonely housewife looking for a quick hook up but Mormons that want an actual deep connection with someone even though I suck at deeply connecting with people....
Reply With Quote
  #70  
Old 07-15-2012, 02:38 AM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 284
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rymmare View Post
I always get just guys wanting sex and not understanding that I'm not a lonely housewife looking for a quick hook up but Mormons that want an actual deep connection with someone even though I suck at deeply connecting with people....
Mormons? Someone's had too much wine.

Yes, Katie and I had/have a very real difference in opinions regards to all of this. We have worked through most of it. I'm happy to say that the man that typed all of those posts months ago is no longer who I am.
__________________
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is the regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." - Sydney Smith

Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
dysfunctional marriage, lack of communication, mending a relationship

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:29 PM.