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Old 07-12-2012, 03:10 PM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Originally Posted by newtoday View Post
It could be a mix of both.
I felt all that in stuff with my first husband, but I was 20, and I think that happens easier when we're younger and haven't been hurt much. I will say I was confused about not feeling that stuff the second time around (I feel a big distinction between love/in love). 8 years later I'm glad I didn't let the lack of butterflies keep me from exploring the relationship. Neither relationship was more rewarding because of the presence or absence of those things, both relationships are wonderful in their own right.
I don't think feeling "crazy" for someone is necessary at all to be in love. I've never had "butterflies in my stomach" for any of the people I've loved, because they made me feel comfortable instead of nervous. When it happened, it was just a natural connection and I wasn't afraid of being rejected anymore.
Thank you, all, for your insights and perspectives.

I think part of what scares me is the fear that I'm just inherently broken--and it scares me because I knew years ago that there would be an attraction between us if we were both available. It just has really bothered me that I'm not feeling what I expect to feel.

And that, of course, makes me ask if I'm guilty of leading him down a primrose path. I enjoy every minute of his company and completely look forward to seeing him again, never want to leave, and no matter how many times I tell myself I need to end this, I can't bring myself to do it. I want to see him again.

But it's clear he's feeling it, deep powerful emotions, on a whole different level than I am, smitten, in love, talking about wanting it to go on forever, while I'm holding back, knowing logically that it can't and won't go on forever as it is now.

I worry about what's the right thing to do for both myself and him.
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