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Old 07-11-2012, 03:41 AM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,442

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
...you shouldn't let anyone feel left out and on the sidelines during threesome sex unless they have chosen to step back for a bit and/or are clearly excited about watching.

Over time, you may gain a sense of familiarity and ease with two other people where things can be a little unbalanced one session because, it's cool, they paid a lot of attention to you last session and who's keeping track? But it takes a while to get there. For the first several times especially, each partner needs to work to actively include the others. This does, in fact, take more awareness and thought than some people may be used to expending when they're busy getting down, so I'm not surprised that some folks get it wrong at first. But if they're not working to include everyone they ARE wrong, in that the person being ignored ends up feeling bad AND the person being focused on will probably end up feeling bad too since no one wants their pleasure to come at another's expense.
Yes! thank you, Annabelle, for confirming exactly what I was feeling and thinking. I think miss pixi was noticing I was getting left out, but she was unable to move out from under him! He's 6'2" and she's 5'4" and was kinda buried under his enthusiastic weight.

There is very much a time for intense, bonding, stare-into-your-eyes, give you all the orgasms in the world, feeling like no one exists but you and me, dyad-focused sex and, hey, guess what, it's when it's just the two of you. That's why it's so foolish, imho, when people think they can form authentic, lasting sexual/romantic relationships without ever having *any* dyad time. A triad is three dyads PLUS the triad.
Yeah... I was thinking, if I'd known that it was Ginger's intent to bond more closely with her, he couldve told me that, and they could have gone off to have some one on one time. But as far as I knew, it was supposed to be 3way sex, yet it wasn't. If we even had sex. Because miss pixi wasn't sure ahead of time she wanted to... although it turned out, Ginger's kisses and caresses were irresistible.

One of the reasons I had a hard time getting these two to understand my disappointment is, they both say they are "go with the flow" people when it comes to sex. So, there was no talking about it beforehand in any detail, as I would have preferred. In talking about it later with miss pixi, she said, "I hate planning sex."

But after I freaked out for a couple days, they both finally got my point. Both were very contrite, telling me I matter, they love me, my needs are important, they want me to be happy, etc. Ginger seems the most interested in having 3ways, or getting it on with her alone, I suppose. He did ask me tonight, in chat, "Do you know the trick to nip this kind of thing in the bud next time?" I replied, "yeah... I just gotta Domme both your asses."

He's a good guy. Apparently he felt so awful for letting me down, knowing how I was tentative to even allow my gf and my bf to have sexual contact, he didn't sleep well last night and couldnt do anything today but sit around.... and he's usually so active.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixie (poly, F, 40) together since 2009
My bf Kahlo (single, poly-friendly, M, 45) since August 2017
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixie's bf for 5 years

Last edited by Magdlyn; 07-11-2012 at 03:45 AM.
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